Tag : nfl
The NFL is comprised of players from all kinds of backgrounds that feature incredibly creative parents. When it comes to naming their future NFL stars, some folks definitely do it with a little more oomph. In their honor, here’s our list of favorite player names for the 2011 season, with a big thanks to the NFL player parents out there.
| Offense: QB – Christian Ponder (profile) RB – BenJarvus Green-Ellis (profile) RB – Danny Woodhead (profile) WR – Tysson Poots (profile) WR – Chad Ochocinco (profile) TE – Michael Hoomanawanui (profile) C – Richie Incognito (profile) OG – John Jerry (profile) OG – Manny Ramirez (profile) OT – D’Brickashaw Ferguson (profile) OT – Gosder Cherilus (profile) K – Sam Swank (profile) |
Defense: DE – Stylez G. White (profile) DE – C.J. Ah You (profile) DT – Ndamukong Suh (profile) DT – Leger Douzable (profile) LB – Stevenson Sylvester (profile) LB – Frank Zombo (profile) LB – Peanut Joseph (profile) DB – Syd’Quan Thompson (profile) DB – Captain Munnerlyn (profile) DB – Atari Bigby (profile) DB – Ashton Youboty (profile) P – Zoltan Mesko (profile) |
New England Patriots
12-4 (1st place)
The offense will account for over 7,000 yards from scrimmage (over 400/game) thanks to a deadly aerial attack reminiscent of the 2007 team, while the most gut-busting defensive line in history will hold opposing teams to a season total of 46 rushing yards. The problem is, they’ll also give up over 8,000 yards in the air.
New York Jets
11-5 (2nd place)
After several members of the team are arrested in Week 5 following an incident at a transsexual Korean barbeque restaurant in New Jersey, the team will struggle to play .500 ball and limp into the playoffs. Head coach Rex Ryan will drive his three-axle Hoveround out on the field in Week 14 to protest the coin flip and be fined $25,000.
Miami Dolphins
8-8 (3rd place)
Off-season acquisition Reggie Bush will be the team’s highest-rated QB and throw the most touchdowns on the team thanks to a desperate reliance on the Wildcat offense. In Week 13, head coach Tony Sparano will experiment with an offense called the “Pregnant Koala”, which involves one OL surrounded by two WRs and seven RBs and will be highlighted on every sports program nationwide with the Keystone Kops theme.
Buffalo Bills
4-12 (4th place)
In planning to make a late-season run, the team will forfeit its first five games in order to preserve players’ health. Then, in a wild publicity stunt, local fans will raise millions for Jim Kelly to come out of retirement in Week 8. They’ll win three of his four starts, but he’ll be severely injured in Week 12 with a fully-torn taint following a late Bart Scott hit.
Let’s face it: a lot of the world’s best names come from sports. Athletes from across the globe and Alabama compete together every day in our sporting arenas, often times with ridiculous names.
The NFL is the home of some of these ridiculous names, and I have selected an essential Pro Bowl team of names around the league. Other sports will follow.
| Offense | Defense |
| QB – Cleo Lemon – SD RB – B.J. Sams – Bal RB – Omar Easy – KC WR – Craphonso Thorpe -KC WR – Jerricho Cotchery – NYJ TE – Alge Crumpler – Atl C – Richie Incognito – StL G – Brian Rimpf – Bal G – Damien Woody – Det OT – Flozell Adams – Dal OT – Rolando Cantu – Ari K – Billy Cundiff – Dal |
DE – Delbert Cowsette – TB DE – Ebenezer Ekuban – Den DT – Cletidus Hunt – GB DT – Cleveland Pinkney – Car LB – Tedy Bruschi – NE LB – R-Kal Truluck – KC LB – Dontarrious Thomas – Min CB – Mike Rumph – SF CB – Randall Gay – NE S – Reggie Tongue – NYJ S – Atari Bigby – Mia P – Steve Cheek – KC |
Honorable mention:
Jermaine Wiggins TE MN, DeMarcus Faggins CB Hou, Ashley Lelie WR Den, Orlando Huff/Orlando Ruff LB Ari/NO