Tag : injuries
The world is a scary place if you're a cat. Dogs, toddlers, and Wisconsin housewives are a constant threat, and cats are in need of constant protection. Unfortunately, not every cat can avoid these dangers forever and they fall victim to some nasty things. So, to get back on the road to recovery, they need your help. Adopt an injured cat today and show the world that you really care for our feline friends, but not in a sketchy way. Contact the Tijuana Humane Society at http://www.friendsofhstj.org/
Rufus
He's a former tabby who hopped into his owner's microwave unnoticed and was cooked for 45 seconds along with some leftover mac & cheese. Has permanent Velveeta odor.
Cornwallis
This victim of a pounce-by beating was targeted by a gang of cats led by the notorious Heathcliff in an ever-present turf war over the trashcans near Mr. Schultz's fish market. Witnesses claim Cornwallis was licking a fish skeleton when the gang approached him and another cat named Mungo, weighing over 30 lbs., sat on him.
Dumbledore
This cat, a former child movie star (as seen in Beethoven 3 and Castaway), snuck on to a cruise ship that ultimately struck an iceberg and during the panic to find a lifeboat, was trampled by Trapper Keeper inventor Tiberius Keeper.
Lakesha
While chasing a mouse across a Harlem basketball court, this cat was dribbled upon by the ball-handler at the time. She found herself underneath the basketball during an ill crossover move that not only broke the ankles of the defender, but her pelvis and front left forepaw as well.
Snappy Joe
One of the victims of the terrifying trend of catwigging, this grey male spends most of his days brushing his hair and looking in the mirror. He unfortunately displays extreme narcissism on most occasions but he is also capable of pouring drinks, making him a potentially viable bartending solution for parties.
| Let’s face it, we love it when divers smash their heads on diving boards. It’s the only thing that makes diving exciting.
Frankly, it’s the only reason we care (?) about Greg Louganis. (Brian and Peter driving their car and doing jumps like in the Dukes of Hazzard) Peter: Freakin sweet! Next time we’ll have Chris be Anus and Meg can be Boss Hog Brian: Enos. Peter: What did I say? Brian: Anus. Peter: eheheahhehehheahhahehaehhhaheha Today, we were blessed with a classic grill-smashing dive, courtesy of American 17-year-old Chelsea Davis at the World Swimming Championships in Montreal. Judges from South Africa, Austria, and India gave the face-buster perfect scores of 10.0, while other judges gave near-perfect scores, with the Japanese judge giving the lowest score, an impressive 9.8. Afterwards, the Finnish judge commented, “It was beautiful, she pretty much hit the entire top half of her face on the board, causing a thunderous ‘BOOM!’ that I won’t forget. It took us nearly 15 minutes to stop laughing. After we realized she wasn’t dead or anything, ya know.” |
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