Tag : boxing
#1: Herman “Blood-Guzzlin” BeckhelderThe eight-year-old reclaims the #1 spot after knocking out three opponents in one day in Thailand. While one victim laid unconscious on the canvas with a bleeding nose, Williams grabbed a straw and drank from the gushing wound.
#2: Joey Vincenzo The fully-clothed assassin recently used a right hook at a match in Teaneck, New Jersey that was so vicious, it knocked the boxer’s jaw into the fourth row and into the lap of a horrified spectator.
#3: Kid DeathConsidered the latest incarnation of the Grim Reaper, the 18-month-old boxer continues to climb the rankings after killing two opponents last month – one by uppercut, and one by headbutt that the referee missed and did not penalize.
#4: Aisha “Dracula” HinskeHinske’s signature “neck-chomper” finishing move ended another opponent’s career last week when she tore a 4″ section of his neck out after knocking him down in the fourth round.
#5: “Crack Rock” CollinsIn June, he used a ten-second, 88-punch combo to defeat his opponent after he ingested a reported $149,000 rock of crack upon entering the ring of an unsanctioned bout in Toronto.
Last night in Lowell, I witnessed the finals of the N.E. Golden Gloves tourney. There were seven fights total, and this is how they sort of went:
115 lbs: It’s hard to believe guys can be halfway strong and still weigh 115 lbs. Only unanimous of the night. Good
125 lbs: A real snoozer. Don’t really remember what happened. Could have been kangaroo kickboxing. Zzz….
Foxyboxing: The fight of the night. Some latina chick beat the living crap out of some italian gal who could’ve actually been a dude. Cringes, cheers, and laughter overflowed. Excellente’
135 lbs: Know the phrase “strength and honor” from Gladiator? That definitely did not apply here. Low blows, headbutts, forearm shivers, the works. Dirty
145 lbs: Two guys have never been more afraid of each other. I don’t think a single punch was landed in four rounds. Craptastic
152 lbs: Demetrius Andrade, the nation’s #1, looked more like the nation’s #100 in a bout he should’ve easily won. It came down to a decision, but D-rade came out on top. Alright
Super Heavyweight: “Nasty” Nate James took his 350+lb. frame into the ring against some scrub half his size. Nasty clobbered the dude onto the canvas a couple times, and almost threw him completely through the ropes. Fun