Tag : bears

New England Patriots
12-4 (1st place)
The offense will account for over 7,000 yards from scrimmage (over 400/game) thanks to a deadly aerial attack reminiscent of the 2007 team, while the most gut-busting defensive line in history will hold opposing teams to a season total of 46 rushing yards. The problem is, they’ll also give up over 8,000 yards in the air.

New York Jets
11-5 (2nd place)
After several members of the team are arrested in Week 5 following an incident at a transsexual Korean barbeque restaurant in New Jersey, the team will struggle to play .500 ball and limp into the playoffs. Head coach Rex Ryan will drive his three-axle Hoveround out on the field in Week 14 to protest the coin flip and be fined $25,000.

Miami Dolphins
8-8 (3rd place)
Off-season acquisition Reggie Bush will be the team’s highest-rated QB and throw the most touchdowns on the team thanks to a desperate reliance on the Wildcat offense. In Week 13, head coach Tony Sparano will experiment with an offense called the “Pregnant Koala”, which involves one OL surrounded by two WRs and seven RBs and will be highlighted on every sports program nationwide with the Keystone Kops theme.

Buffalo Bills
4-12 (4th place)
In planning to make a late-season run, the team will forfeit its first five games in order to preserve players’ health. Then, in a wild publicity stunt, local fans will raise millions for Jim Kelly to come out of retirement in Week 8. They’ll win three of his four starts, but he’ll be severely injured in Week 12 with a fully-torn taint following a late Bart Scott hit.

“The Bear” by My Morning Jacket
(mp3 from Acoustic Citsuoca EP)
God bless the Jacket.

Minus the Bear
Eh, they’re ok.

Bearsville Studios, NY
Travis recorded Good Feeling there. Good enough for me.

Woobie Bear Music
Music by bears, for bears. Beyond that, I have no idea what their deal is.

“(Let Me Be Your) Teddy Bear” by Elvis Presley
Anyone have the Uncle Jesse remix?

T.T. the Bear’s Place
Always a soft spot in my heart for this lovable venue.