Category : News
DeerCam provides insight into deer life, gruesome death
The deer who was outfitted with the camera frolicked around for about 20 minutes, walked straight into a hunter’s sight, and got picked off.
The hunter took the camera off the deer’s neck while he skinned and fileted the buck. He took the camera home with him and set it on the end of the kitchen table and filmed himself eating the deer. A little too real.
Related: How To Get Meat From a Deer
Sheryl Swoopes becomes a lesbian
ESPN claims Sheryl Swoopes “today becomes the sport’s first openly gay superstar”. What about Rebecca Lobo? Also, on a strange note, I created my fantasy NBA team yesterday, the Boston Hot Lesbos, which may or may not have caused her to make this announcement.
USA Today photoshops Condi Rice with devil eyes
aaaahhhh! The Gams From Birmingham are on the prowl – watch your back.
Google sort of launches Google Base
It’s like eBay & Craigslist. But like all other Google applications, extremely ghetto. There are various screenshots of it floating around (here) from the 2 seconds it was live. Just like the IMHOHOHUM Gmail, I don’t see myself using it any time soon.
Plumbers keep busy around Halloween
Is it because of:
a) Pumpkin guts
b) All the candy that gets eaten
c) By-products of goat sacrifices
Civil Rights Icon Rosa Parks Dies
I guess it’s good to know that going through the enormous stress of playing a major role in a civil rights movement won’t take years off your life. She lived 92 long years in Montgomery, Alabama and Detroit, easily making her the most-durable human to ever live.
Iraq adopts a constitution; Death toll nears 2,000
Mission accomp… oh wait. We’re still there. Is there a death toll cut-off point at which Americans will start revolting in the streets? How many would it take? It’s probably somewhere between 2,001 and 1,000,000.
White Sox fan bigg-slaps Craig Biggio’s wife during Game 2
Can’t help but laugh at this. Guillen keeps it real, though.
Man Gets Jail Time For Impersonating Ben Roethlisberger
I imagine it went a lot like this: “I’m a big fat jerk. No one likes me. The Patriots rule my universe. I went to Miami of Ohio. I have a stupid blog.”
Man avoids jail time for peeping at girl from underneath outhouse
You know you don’t get out much when you climb into a waste-filled toilet to check out teenage girls using the bathroom. It would’ve been great if he got stuck.
Olsen-esque Nazi twins spread hate through song
Wow – didn’t see this coming. These two actually make the Olsen twins look normal. They are about the only way to make the already-crappy teenage girl music industry worse. They’re at the bottom of the worst music genre possible.
Plus, their names are Lamb and Lynx. Only in California.
Dubya to nominate Fed Chairman @ 1 pm
Crap, that’s like in a few minutes.
Follow-up: Pre-lim reports say it’s Bernanke
Hahaha, oh man. The funniest part of the article, though, has to be the line: “As a crew member held his ankles, Roker began to do a live report…”
Grant keeps Kentucky bingo halls safe from terrorists
Basically, the only logic behind this is that terrorists could go into a bingo parlor, win a ton of cash, and go buy bombs with that cash. If that happened, I’d probably feel the worst for the people who spend years playing bingo and never win anything.
Oswalt smacks Cards, Astros advance to first World Series
Roy Oswalt is the man. He was throwing 95 to 97 mph fastballs and making the Cards look as bad as they did in the World Series last year. Edmonds is a born loser, all he can do is make catches. Reggie? Reggie Sanders? The Astros-White sox World Series may feature some of the best pitching we’ve ever seen.
The first game is on Saturday during the Broken Social Scene concert, which makes me extremely angry. For once in my life, I’m glad Avalon lets out early, so I can catch some of the game at least.
Michael Jackson called for jury service
Something tells me the lawyers for both sides will take one look at each other, bust out laughing, and promptly dismiss Jacko for “a slew” of reasons.
Family Finds Bullet In Pork Roast
That reminds me of the place in Cambridge that says “Live Poultry Fresh Killed”. I wonder if they cap the chickens.
World War II Airman Found Frozen in Glacier
How embarassing. To get shot down in the “Great War” only to be found 60 years later swallowed by a glacier? Couldn’t he have, like, crawled away from it?
Woman dies after microwaving her clothes
Bwaaahahahahahhahhahhhahahahaaaa, oh, man.
Official Darwin Award contestant.
Wilma now most intense Atlantic storm ever
Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse. It’s supposed to bear its 175mph winds down on Florida over the weekend, making it a good opportunity to park one’s self in front of a 62″ TV and hope the house doesn’t blow away.
Stop the madness.
Pacers’ Jackson calls ban on chains ‘racist statement’
The irony is about as much as I can take. Just like I can barely take the intensity level of the Colbert Report. He’s going to burn himself and us out by week’s end.
Dog attacks anti-dangerous dog bill author
Beautiful. Simply beautiful.
Ball State Students Developing Model Of Edible Lunar Vehicle
This is one of the best ideas to come out of Ball State in a long time. Some of their other inventions include:
-Uphill noodle pusher
-Video game system for the blind
-Megaphone to talk to old people
Related: Where Is Ball State?
Naked Lennon named top US magazine cover
Personally, I would’ve preferred the Demi Moore naked/pregnant cover win, mostly because it’s naked Demi Moore vs. naked John Lennon, and I think the image of John Lennon naked is responsible for as many global nightmares as the entire Friday the 13th series.
Well, at least it wasn’t Yoko.
We’d be talking about the worst US magazine cover.
Saudi Arabia allows cinema again, but only cartoons
Let freedom ring. Almost as exciting as the Ikea stampede.
Company invents smell-proof underwear
In some ways, this is as important as a cure for cancer.
Man involved in cracking Seahawks player’s head open ends up dead the next day
They should do a CSI: Real World episode on this. The episode would surely involve a steroids, a sex boat, and Puck.
I would say it was the greatest regular-season game ever. The OSU/Miami Fiesta Bowl a couple years back was the best game I’ve ever seen. Matt Leinart’s legend just got even bigger, if that’s possible. Reggie Bush is one of the best players of football on any level. Dude’s got moves I never even thought were possible.
White Sox in World Series for first time since 1959
Congrats, etc. I still think A.J. Pierzynski is a total jackalope, though.
Michelle Wie DQ’d for Bad Drop, Costs Her $53,126
She said she got 3″ closer, they said 12″. That’s roughly $6,000 an inch. The important lesson is that she would’ve finished fourth, which means she’s already better than most women on the tour and she’s not even old enough to eat cereal yet.
A-Rod’s mom: Uncle’s death affected performance
How embarassing. Now his mommy’s defending him.
Condie Rice, Jack Straw to attend Alabama-Tennessee game
What better way to show America off to a British politician? I’m sure he’ll be charmed by the mullets, wife-beaters, and coonskin caps.
600-pound man too slow to move dies after fire
This is like something out of Se7en. Just reason #3,728 why it’s not good to weigh 600 lbs.
Daniel Craig unveiled as new James Bond
The Blond Bond.
I can understand the desire to keep the spy series fresh, but casting some random poindexter who doesn’t remind us of previous 007′s in any way is a little over the top. The new flick, Casino Royale, better have a Sean Connery cameo to keep it real.
And no, ladies, he’s not Craig David.
Reggie Sanders sprains back trying to make catch
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LOL. Oh man, when this happened, I couldn’t believe it. Has to be the ugliest attempt at a catch in history. To think that this man plays next to Jim Edmonds is mind-boggling.
Romanowski reveals steroid use, points finger at Conte
This is about as shocking as rain around here. There are few people on this planet who didn’t know Romo was juiced. That psycho spit on peeps, broke peoples’ faces, ate mice, and all kinds of other stuff while on ‘roids. Do us all a favor and pull an Alzado.
How to Rip DVD Movies To Your iPod
Let’s see, the video iPod was release, what, yesterday? And already you can get your gank on. Nice. Very nice.
Angels get massively screwed by ump, White Sox
This was possibly the worst call in baseball history. At least the most important. If I was an Angels fan, I would still be awake from rage. I thought Scioscia was going to rip someone’s head off. He was surprisingly calm. Mad props to Buerhle for going 9IP strong though.
If you missed it, all the pics and video you’ll need are on the ESPN page. Good pic here
Good God, y’all. The world media as a whole has officially hit rock bottom. I, on the other hand, am completely legit.
More and more people prefer box wine
This is no surprise. Once hillbillies found out about wine, it was over. And even Two Buck Chuck is rampant in certain areas of well-to-do communities. Jug wine, on the other hand, will rot every organ in your body.
Baboon mother licks child bald
It appears overparenting is something innate in creatures other than humans as well.
Oklahoma Lottery, less than 24 hrs old, suspected of fraud
Yeah, whatever. Right now I can’t concentrate cause the stupid chick next to me keeps tapping her pen really, really loudly. I may just have to erase all of her files.
Smurfs ‘bombed’ in UN ad campaign
Did you know the Smurfs were created in Belgium? Anyway, the moral of the story is that war can kill us all with one single strike. In the video, Smurfette gets killed, leaving the Smurfs with no female to carry their species on. In the same way, one massive bomb could do the same to us.
Two-year-old busts a cap in three-year-old
Babies don’t kill babies, babies having babies kill babies.
This isn’t news, I just wanted to remind everyone.
Nomar dives into Boston Harbor to help women
That would’ve been hilarious if he tore his groin doing it. Don’t worry, he’ll tear it soon enough and we can all laugh again. Also, let’s look up where in Charlestown Victor Garciaparra lives and crash his pad with beer. He’d love that.