Category : Articles
In case you’re wondering, iPads are made in a massive factory in Shenzen, China by a corporation called Foxconn. The factory has ~250,000 employees (holy crap) to crank those puppies out, and this video is a look inside the process. Here are some highlights:
0:23 – Assembly line workers given daily instructions, such as “You are simple machines” and “You must hate Western imperialist devils”
0:47 – A RFID chip is installed in every iPad for tracking purposes reported to the Chinese government
1:35 – Worker checks screen tests (RGB, B&W, etc) , appears blown away in Double Rainbow fashion
2:08 – Workers play soccer during break while being bombarded by anti-American propaganda on giant video screen
2:21 – Dude sitting alone in bleachers trying to talk to his pet cricket without being seen
Throughout the centuries, people and nations have changed dramatically around the world. For a family to maintain a high level of control over groups of people, economies, and boundaries is a tremendous feat and these are the absolute best of the best:
1. Habsburgs
When it comes to dominating important places at important times, nobody beats the Habsburgs. They had influence over most of Eastern, Central and Southern Europe, intertwined with the Holy Roman Empire most of the time. Originating in Austria, the family rose to power through political moves, economic craftiness, and creating the much-celebrated policy of “Taco Tuesday”.
2. Ottoman
One of most enduring and largest empires in history, the Ottoman Empire was begun by Osman I from the rubble of the Byzantine Empire. Due to Osman’s famous love of hats, the rulers throughout the centuries made fancy headwear a proud symbol of the empire, for which the Ottomans have long been recognized as the most fashion-forward emporers. See: Suleiman
3. Imperial House of Japan
Starting with Emperor Jimmu in 650 BC, the foremost house of Japan has seen 125 monarchs over the years. The house has presided over countless intra-national wars, pan-continental wars, and a World War while incubating such important innovations as sushi, karate, and tentacle porn.
4. Wangchucks
The Wangchuck family has ruled over Bhutan since 1907 but its influence goes back much further, rooted in legendary monks and historical figures. They’ve protected the sovereignty of Bhutan strongly for hundreds of years, thanks to the world’s deepest moat surrounding their Himalayan castle, rumored to be the home of over 10,000 alligators.
5. Windsors
The current ruling family of Great Britain, the Windsors are actually rooted in Germany, known as “Saxe-Coburg and Gotha” until 1917. The family, up to and including Prince William, the future king of England, are actually all Germans pretending to be British through fake accents and terrible teeth in order to maintain their dynastic control. Once the British discover the rouse, the family will certainly lose its power in Britain.
One of the best cuts of any meat in the world is the beef tenderloin. It’s the source of the most tender steaks, tartares, and roasts imaginable, and causes more volume of drool per year than any other animal meat in the world. You can grill it, roast it, sauté it (like Sam deliciously does), and it will make sweet love to your palate. Here’s some resources about it and things related to it:
Wikipedia page for “beef tenderloin”
Char-Grilled Beef Tenderloin with Three-Herb Chimichurri recipe from Bon Appétit
The “Tenderloin” neighborhood of San Francisco
qīng jiāo zhī niú liǔ
青 椒 汁 牛 柳
The NFL is comprised of players from all kinds of backgrounds that feature incredibly creative parents. When it comes to naming their future NFL stars, some folks definitely do it with a little more oomph. In their honor, here’s our list of favorite player names for the 2011 season, with a big thanks to the NFL player parents out there.
| Offense: QB – Christian Ponder (profile) RB – BenJarvus Green-Ellis (profile) RB – Danny Woodhead (profile) WR – Tysson Poots (profile) WR – Chad Ochocinco (profile) TE – Michael Hoomanawanui (profile) C – Richie Incognito (profile) OG – John Jerry (profile) OG – Manny Ramirez (profile) OT – D’Brickashaw Ferguson (profile) OT – Gosder Cherilus (profile) K – Sam Swank (profile) |
Defense: DE – Stylez G. White (profile) DE – C.J. Ah You (profile) DT – Ndamukong Suh (profile) DT – Leger Douzable (profile) LB – Stevenson Sylvester (profile) LB – Frank Zombo (profile) LB – Peanut Joseph (profile) DB – Syd’Quan Thompson (profile) DB – Captain Munnerlyn (profile) DB – Atari Bigby (profile) DB – Ashton Youboty (profile) P – Zoltan Mesko (profile) |
5. Uranus’ ToenailAs the god Uranus embodied the sky and space of all the Heavens, his toenail is definitely the least glamorous part of it all.
4. Achilles’ CodpieceThis cluster of stars was defined by Persian queen Huker as an homage to the warrior’s legendary manparts. It’s a constant, awkward reminder that she was infatuated with him and claimed it was the only codpiece in the universe that could cover him. Truly an eye-roller.
3. Rattus Carrotarius (Rat chewing a rotten carrot)Nothing in the sky represents the desperation of earth’s creatures quite like this one. Starving and pathetic, the rat decides to eat the rotten carrot, even at the peril of death. The Greek legend tells that the rat does survive, but loses its vision and walks right off a cliff.
2. Equus Defecus (Horse Taking Dump)Clearly the most grotesque of the “action” constellations, this one was defined by the Sumerians in 1200 BC in honor of legendary warrior Gorath slaying the evil King Habbaha. During the fight, Habbaha was staggered and fell back into a cart carrying horse manure, which emptied all over him. The movie Back To The Future makes a reference to this.
1. The Frown of ZeusThis group of stars was defined solely to remind all humans that the gods are very, very disappointed in them. Throughout the centuries, it’s been regarded as the most depressing constellation ever.
Whether you’re in an awesome fantasy league with close friends or some piece of crap random league cause you don’t have any, there will come a time in the upcoming season when you will need to rely upon players who may not necessarily have been their team’s or your first choice in the depth chart. But thanks to horrific injuries, mental meltdowns, and off-the-field problems, there will be a handful of guys that emerge halfway through the year and post mind-boggling stats. Here are the absolute best of those guys:
Montario Hardesty – RB, Cleveland BrownsThanks to a brutally physical style of running, Peyton Hillis is a ripe target for a gruesome injury any week. His backup is two-year vet Montario Hardesty, who is also willing to risk it all for a yard, and until one of his collarbones snaps, he’ll chew up a ton for you.
Richard Bartel – QB, Arizona CardinalsThe third-year QB out of Tarleton State is only third on the Cardinal depth chart, so when starter Kevin Kolb and backup John Skelton are benched early in the season, Bartel should shine and create a historically successful link with Larry Fitzgerald.
Jeremy Kerley – WR, New York JetsStarters Burress, Holmes, and Mason are considered the Larry, Moe, and Curly of NFL WRs, but when either Larry or Moe is arrested on a reckless endangerment charge, Schemp (aka Kerley) will be ready to step in and run end-arounds to prevent Sanchez from having to throw.
Michael Hoomanawanui – TE, St. Louis RamsThe 2nd-year TE out of Illinois (??) is poised to take the starting job from veteran Billy Bajema, and ultimately be the standard by which Samoan tight ends in the NFL are judged. Had the fifth-most receiving touchdowns for rookie TEs last year.
WINNER: Clyde PanghornPanghorn’s year became truly remarkable when, in a two-week span, he invented three air-shattering stunts: the Australian Shoehorn, the Waterfall of Terror, and the Horny Gorilla. He became famous throughout the country, and his face was on the cover of national magazines all summer. He was unquestionably America’s aerial hero.
Runner-up: Ormer LocklearKnown as the “Heavenly Hammer”, Locklear spent the year performing stunts that highlighted the luxury that would later define the “roaring” decade to come. Stunts included (while airborne): holding a bottle of champagne with his feet and drinking it, juggling pure-bred Persian cats, and harvesting caviar out of a live sturgeon. Pure extravagance.
3rd Place: Morton St. ClairSt. Clair was always pushing the boundary of what could be done with a spinning propeller, and 1920 was his most successful year. His greatest moment of the season came when he carved a life-size statue of singer Al Jolson using just a block of pine and the plane’s prop. In December, perhaps in karmic retribution, he fell into a propeller while trying to shred pillows and sky-write “Repeal Suffrage” with the scattering feathers.
Over the weekend, while I was watching Sky Sports News, they broke for a minute to do the UK Surf Report. I thought they were kidding at first, and after they gave us the details, I wished that they were. They pinpointed four spots around the entire coast of the UK (a couple English, one Welsh, and one Scottish) and their statuses consisted of “one foot”, “may reach one foot”, and “won’t reach one foot”. The point is, if anyone tells you they’re going surfing in England, they have serious emotional problems and may need to seek counseling.