What would the penalty be if someone were to hit President Bush with a water balloon on one of his campaign stops?

What would the penalty be if the balloon was full of killer bees?

Or acid balls? Or magic nails?

-Big Al Gore

The latest Zogby poll says Kerry and Bush are tied with 45% popularity each.

I guarantee that by next week, Kerry will have a substantial lead thanks to a molestation scandal that I’ll reveal on network TV.

Let’s just say Dubya’s disco days were more than child’s play.

-Big Al Gore

I thought last night’s debate was an even match. Bush dodged 56 questions, Kerry made up 61 statistics. Pretty good average.

All I did was lie about the internet and Prince William.

God, I’m lame.

-Big Al Gore