Have you ever regretted doing or saying something bad to a tree? Like sitting in the shade of another or blurting“I’ll turn you into paper!”? If so, here’s a handy guide on how to make up with your loving tree and get things right:
| 1. Make Contact It’s up to you to reach out. But be gentle, trees will hold grudges for centuries. Depending on how bad you were, you may have to crawl up to it like a hungover wiffleballer. |
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| 2. Say You’re Sorry Suck it up and take the blame. You didn’t even like that sapling or you were drunk and wanted to climb something. The excuses are over. It has to feel your sincerity from root to leaf. |
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| 3. Listen To It Hear it out. Listen to what your tree wants to make things right. Be prepared for its list of demands, like “From now on, you have to water me six times a day.” and “Get me some squirrels.” |
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| 4. Hug It Out …and hold on tight. These are the moments that add rings. You and your tree are back together again. No lumberjack in the world could break this bond. |
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