1. Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel
We all know and love Cletus as the best bumpkin ever, the husband of Brandine and father of 26 kids. My favorite Cletus quote has to be, “Hey Brandine! I think I done busted my stinkbone!” He’s as reliable a character as any other to provide quality comic relief, and in many ways, sets an example for millions across the nation.
2. Cletus Hogg
As Boss Hogg’s cousin and Hazzard County deputy, he picked up where Enos left off: being outrun by the Duke boys, especially when they’d ramp over something that his awesome Plymouth Fury couldn’t handle.
3. Pope Anacletus
He was a Pope in the first century, and died a martyr, but back then, martyrdom was as common as tattooing. Some consider him just a paper-pusher, but Anacletus actually defeated a pride of lions in an arena using only his fists and a spoon. He was also said to have worn the first gold cross necklace.
4. Cletus the Fetus
He’s the only fetus to ever escape an abortion clinic. Talk about a survivor. He’s also been on tons of excellent adventures, including “Build a Bear” and “Race With Train and Death”. And, his website features several scantily clad teens that probably aren’t SFW.
5. Cletus Mmaduabuchi
This dude is from the Ivory Coast and he’s involved in some Christian ministry called Buchi4Christ, Inc., as far as I can tell. He’s looking for a book called The Forbidden Fruit, so if you can help him out, that’d be great.
cHoMp iNc.
prisoners.
