Detroit C Ivan Rodriguez’s manhood crushed

St. Louis – Last night, in the eighth inning of Game 3, a foul tip by Cardinals’ 1B Albert Pujols took a fateful journey right into Ivan Rodriguez’s crotch, sending the perennial All-Star to the ground for several minutes. While a sold-out crowded tried their best to hide their laughter, Rodriguez writhed around and hunched over like a dog for what must have seemed like an eternity. “I thought he was going to die,” recalled Pujols. Eventually, Rodriguez was able to stand up – and laugh – and went back into his crouch praying it didn’t happen again.

	St. Louis St. Louis World Series Leisure Correspondent
	Hark! In the bowels of Busch Stadium exists a room of sin and heresy, to us known as “Busch Gardens”. In this cloister of evil are physicians with needles, unclad maidens, and endless emboozened beverage. Woe!