synapticblur | 2006 October
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October 2006


31 Oct Sweet, Sweet Chicken McNuggets

nuggaliciousLet me just say, I wouldn’t be alive today if it wasn’t for Chicken McNuggets. Had I never known their tasty golden goodness, I would’ve probably gone on to be a professional bullrider, whose life expectancies top off at about 25. Instead, as a child, I was exposed to the wonderliciousness that is the McNugget, and I frequently gave away the bride in the beautiful marriages of McNugget and honey. I’m not sure I ever pulled it off, but my greatest dream when I was young was not to fly in space or discover new species, but to finish off a 20-piece box. I say we make November “Chicken McNugget Month”, wolf down as many as we can, and all compare totals on December 1st. The winner gets some sunglasses made out of McNuggets. Unless he/she can think of something better.

Wikipedia’s entry for Chicken McNuggets
Excellent McDonald’s commercial feat. McNuggets
“Bring Back Dark Meat Chicken McNuggets” petition
Univ. of Georgia uses McNuggets for math problems
The Classic Chickenhead McNugget

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31 Oct My Morning Jacket – Okonokos (DVD)

[note color=”#D1F26D”]Official rating: 80 + 7 killer bear points = 87[/note]

How can you not dig My Morning Jacket live? After rocking my world for about the 7th time with the Pops and hanging with them at Bukowski, I’ve been jonesin’ to see ‘em ever since. Thankfully, I’ve already got my tickets to see them on December 2nd, so I won’t have to scratch my arms much longer.

In the meantime, I got to see their new Okonokos movie in the theater, which despite its lo-def tendencies, kicked butt, and seeing anything musical in a theater is eggcellent. While I was PO’d that they didn’t include “O…” in the DVD, they still put together a hell of a setlist, which was filmed over two nights at the crazy-awesome Fillmore in San Fran. The place looked like some weird garden.

I won’t say too much about the movie other than the use of animals are excellent, the sound is great, and it’s an obvious must-have for any Jacket fan.

But the most awesome part has to be the last, when the main character leaves the concert and gets to’ up by a bear. I won’t spoil it too much, but that critter easily makes it atop my list of musical bears.

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deval patrick

26 Oct Massachusetts Gubernatorial Race

With the 11/7 election coming up, Massachusetts voters need to be informed. They may not know their candidates from the guy at 7/11, so here’s a little run-down of who could be ruling our state with an iron fist:

deval patrickDemocrat – Deval Patrick
Former Clinton lawyer and high-powered legal exec. He opposes the death penalty and supports what he calls the “life penalty”, which prosecutes families if they have more than six children. This is aimed to prevent a possible Mormon takeover of Massachusetts – led by Mitt Romney.

kerry healeyRepublican – Kerry Healey
The Dick Cheney of Massachusetts. She was the mastermind of a failed initiative to invade Vermont, has signed off on numerous bogus contracts for the Big Dig, and loves to shoot things. Strangely, she has a few whiskers of Bill Buckner’s moustache preserved on her mantle.

christy mihosIndependent – Christy Mihos
Owner of some convenient stores, Mihos is campaigning on his “hot dog in every bun” platform. He has promised that if elected governor, he would distribute millions of cheap hot dogs to Mass. residents on a weekly basis. His strongest quality is the ability to throw a baseball 95+ mph.

grace rossGreen/Rainbow – Grace Ross
Clearly the most laughable candidate, Ross has really no platform, assets, or experience doing anything but forcing people to eat tofurkey. This is a classic example of how Republicans inexplicably get elected – because Ross flushes liberal votes down the toilet.

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down like a redwood

25 Oct 2006 World Series Update 4

Detroit C Ivan Rodriguez’s manhood crushed

down like a redwoodSt. Louis – Last night, in the eighth inning of Game 3, a foul tip by Cardinals’ 1B Albert Pujols took a fateful journey right into Ivan Rodriguez’s crotch, sending the perennial All-Star to the ground for several minutes. While a sold-out crowded tried their best to hide their laughter, Rodriguez writhed around and hunched over like a dog for what must have seemed like an eternity. “I thought he was going to die,” recalled Pujols. Eventually, Rodriguez was able to stand up – and laugh – and went back into his crouch praying it didn’t happen again.

St. Louis
St. Louis World Series Leisure Correspondent
Hark! In the bowels of Busch Stadium exists a room of sin and heresy, to us known as “Busch Gardens”. In this cloister of evil are physicians with needles, unclad maidens, and endless emboozened beverage. Woe!
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24 Oct Bertucci’s F&%#-Up/Make-Up

So last week, we went to Bertucci’s near Copley because some other place was closed, and it was getting late. When we got there, there were fewer patrons than staff, so we figured we’d get decent service. As it turns out, our waiter was a complete failure.

The next morning, still pissed that I blew 60 bones on that meal, I sent Bertucci’s customer service a fiery email. It included a few emphatic statements, such as this: “I’m pissed. It was the worst $60 bucks I’ve ever spent in a restaurant, and it makes me sick to think of ever going to Bertucci’s again.”, and a laundry list of homeboy’s faults. I told them I wanted it made up to me – pronto.

So the next morning, I got an apologetic email from some CS lady, and she put a $60 gift card in the mail for me. As much as the wait service sucked, their customer service pulled through, so I guess everything is even. Let’s just hope I don’t get stuck in some Groundhog Day-type scenario of using this gift card and getting such poor service that it warrants another gift card.

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