Let me just say, I wouldn’t be alive today if it wasn’t for Chicken McNuggets. Had I never known their tasty golden goodness, I would’ve probably gone on to be a professional bullrider, whose life expectancies top off at about 25. Instead, as a child, I was exposed to the wonderliciousness that is the McNugget, and I frequently gave away the bride in the beautiful marriages of McNugget and honey. I’m not sure I ever pulled it off, but my greatest dream when I was young was not to fly in space or discover new species, but to finish off a 20-piece box. I say we make November “Chicken McNugget Month”, wolf down as many as we can, and all compare totals on December 1st. The winner gets some sunglasses made out of McNuggets. Unless he/she can think of something better.

Wikipedia’s entry for Chicken McNuggets
Excellent McDonald’s commercial feat. McNuggets
“Bring Back Dark Meat Chicken McNuggets” petition
Univ. of Georgia uses McNuggets for math problems
The Classic Chickenhead McNugget

With the 11/7 election coming up, Massachusetts voters need to be informed. They may not know their candidates from the guy at 7/11, so here’s a little run-down of who could be ruling our state with an iron fist:

Democrat – Deval Patrick
Former Clinton lawyer and high-powered legal exec. He opposes the death penalty and supports what he calls the “life penalty”, which prosecutes families if they have more than six children. This is aimed to prevent a possible Mormon takeover of Massachusetts – led by Mitt Romney.

Republican – Kerry Healey
The Dick Cheney of Massachusetts. She was the mastermind of a failed initiative to invade Vermont, has signed off on numerous bogus contracts for the Big Dig, and loves to shoot things. Strangely, she has a few whiskers of Bill Buckner’s moustache preserved on her mantle.

Independent – Christy Mihos
Owner of some convenient stores, Mihos is campaigning on his “hot dog in every bun” platform. He has promised that if elected governor, he would distribute millions of cheap hot dogs to Mass. residents on a weekly basis. His strongest quality is the ability to throw a baseball 95+ mph.

Green/Rainbow – Grace Ross
Clearly the most laughable candidate, Ross has really no platform, assets, or experience doing anything but forcing people to eat tofurkey. This is a classic example of how Republicans inexplicably get elected – because Ross flushes liberal votes down the toilet.