Astronomers say Pluto is not a planet
In a move that will forever redefine our solar system and alter elementary school mnemonics, scientists have declared that Pluto is not a planet. Copernicus is rotating in his grave at a speed roughly equivalent to 6.5 earth days per turn. Whatever. Pluto totally sucked anyway. Not even Wal-Mart could do business there.
Morning-after pill OK’d for over-the-counter sale
In an effort to make life better for every American, and put the nation in a good mood, the FDA is allowing OTC BC. Singer R. Kelly stood before Congress and argued the merits of the decision, claiming simply, “So much booty.”
Polar bear genitals shrinking due to pollution
Somewhere, Stephen Colbert is smiling.
Blue Jays fan storms field in Blue Jays jersey
This opens so many doors for future field-storming.
…does that mean I have to stop saying, “You’re hung like planet pluto, hard to see with the naked eye?”
Comment by John — August 27, 2006 @ 8:37 pm