Botolph (bott-ulf, not bo-tolph) was an English abbot, a master farmer, and is the patron saint of farming. He even has a feast day. And a street in Boston (Botolph’s Town), Mass. is named after him.

He tried to a build a church in a mysterious place called Icanho, which may or may not be Plymouth Hoe. Which is close to Crapstone.

He, like most early saints, had a ridiculously long, thin nose , gained through a monastic process of face-stretching boys at a young age.

Ernesto Downgraded; John now Category 4

All in the family. The Florida Hurricane Freakout Level has been lowered to Scream, but hundreds continue to flee the state due to the bear infestation. Governor Bush has created an anti-bear task squad of 20,000 paramilitary alligators, at the cost of $50,000,000 taxpayer dollars. John, meanwhile is scattering all of the bottle caps on Acapulco’s beaches and taking revenge on Montezuma’s homeland for all of the pollution from Mexico City melting the ice caps.

AT&T says hackers got 19,000 customers’ cards

Now’s the time for husbands to charge porn on their credit card and say the hackers did it.

Lake Havasu City police looking for real-life Hamburglar

A suspect disguised as a “big, fat purple dude” was also seen in the vicinity at the time of the trespassing. Police are being posted at area McDonald’s to eat burgers all day and watch for intruders.

This place is crazy. Like Lewis Carroll’s crack den, the restaurant features a pink-hued checkboard dining room with a balcony, a zebra room, and a “jewel-box-like supper club”. O…k… So, we hit it on the last night of Restaurant Week. We started off with drinks, including Kir (brilliant), and my 888 Vodka martini. The waiter originally thought I was pointing to a shot of 888 on the menu (??).

For apps, we evenly split the salmon and gazpacho. Each were pretty gratifying. I got the halibut for dinner, if for nothing else, to get to say the word “succotash”. And, even though it took me about 50% longer than everyone else, I cleaned my plate, despite the waiter’s attempt to steal it from me. He also tried to convince us that the chocolate panna cotta was better than the peach tart tatin, but the first two orders immediately rejected his suggestion for the peach. Both desserts were downright ambrosial.

It’s an ethereal, snooty place with weird-shaped tables and bizarre decor, but definitely worth a visit for both the experience and menu alike.

We combined Restaurant Week and birthday action at Azure in the Lenox Hotel, and it didn’t disappoint. The mod-swank interior was dimly lit and the vibe was as cool as my martini. The appetizer was possibly the highlight of the meal, as the caramelized potato gnocchi sent our PET scans off the charts. The goat cheese butter & manchego were out of control. It’s now the standard by which I assess gnocchi.

The pork medallions weren’t the prettiest, but they tag-teamed risotto into a powerful combination. Kinda like Junkyard Dog and Haystack Calhoun. Not the Hulkster, but still dang good. The profiterole for dessert was just as solid, and all in all, well worth the $30.06. The service was nearly unintelligible, but decent enough. Probably going back for the regular fare soon.

To celebrate my new apartment in the Back Bay, we crept down W. Newton to the Sound End location of Petit Robert Bistro, the place with the illuminated Eiffel Tower. The host was cool, so it felt like we were getting into something good. He sat us at a window table so we got a cool night view of the Copley area. We started with the steak tartar, which was decent, but nowhere near that of Grill 23. The bread was good, if you’re into that sort of thing.

For entrées, we got the fromage rissoto and roasted rabbit leg. The rissoto was solid, but needed salt & pepper, and more than just mushrooms. The rabbit leg came with ginger sausage, mashed potatoes, and veggies. The rabbit was tender, the sausage was subtle, but the mashed potatoes were pretty boring. Everything went down smoothly, but perhaps too smoothly, as the spice neglect was almost criminal. And the screeching, drunk chick with the three gay dudes cut into the scene like a saw, so I don’t expect a quiet meal here.

As bistros will be bistros, Petit Robert served up genuine, purgatorial cuisine - informal but original.

Q:A Ima Robot @ QROmag.com

It was over the phone, but still.

Yanks’ Wang wins 15th
Hahahahhaahahha - gotta love it.

Manny & Papi: Best 3-4 Evs?
I say heck yes.

Weird “Reds Fan” video
Is this the official band of the wagon?

Procedure Performed Per Padres’ P Park’s Problem, Prognosis Positive
OMG!BOWELZ??!!LOL!11!MY BOWELS?!11!

Mets acquire OF Green from Diamondbacks
As if they needed more offense. NL = in hell.
Related: Beltran’s mole

Astronomers say Pluto is not a planet

In a move that will forever redefine our solar system and alter elementary school mnemonics, scientists have declared that Pluto is not a planet. Copernicus is rotating in his grave at a speed roughly equivalent to 6.5 earth days per turn. Whatever. Pluto totally sucked anyway. Not even Wal-Mart could do business there.

Morning-after pill OK’d for over-the-counter sale

In an effort to make life better for every American, and put the nation in a good mood, the FDA is allowing OTC BC. Singer R. Kelly stood before Congress and argued the merits of the decision, claiming simply, “So much booty.”

Polar bear genitals shrinking due to pollution

Somewhere, Stephen Colbert is smiling.

Blue Jays fan storms field in Blue Jays jersey

This opens so many doors for future field-storming.

The show started off slowly as the Dap Kings tried to coax us off our grass-padded asses, but nearly everyone ignored them. After most of their extra-tight soul-blues set, they brought some crazy-dancing, middle-aged women onstage to get more people on their feet. It kinda worked. Here’s to you, windmill lady.

After a take-five, Sharon Jones came out and it got nuts. She got down, dirty, and shoeless & rocked out immediately. Then she did a funky dance homage to her culture & heritage. She also busted out “How Do I Let A Good Man Down?”, her NYC commercial cover song, “This Land Is Your Land”, and “My Man Is A Mean Man”.

But she was looking for a “young man” for “Take Love Easy”, and that young man turned out to be me. So I went up onstage, and she gave me a lesson in life, love, and slow groovin’. Then she “played Cupid” and brought up my significant other and we acted out the lyrics and danced for everyone. Ridiculously fun and cool. The MFA’s courtyard was kind of a stuffy place for a soul/jazz/funk/blues set, but at least we had fun. Tons, in fact.

It’s about 10 hours into my birthday, and so far so good. Got some butt-kickin’ presents, including a computer pen. Been wanting one forever. Tonight, I’m hitting up the Foundry Field Recordings show @ PA’s Lounge, which I’ve been looking forward to all summer. Turning 26 rules.