1. Genus Panthera
Lions, tigers, leopards, and jaguars. Crème de la crème. You already know how much they rule. If we didn’t invent guns, we’d be living as their pets right now. Btw, what you call panthers are actually mutants.

2. Black Panthers
A major part of the counterculture, these fiercely anti-white socialists spread ideology more than violence. I always fuddle Huey Newton with Huey Lewis & the News, though.

3. Carolina Panthers
Highly successful expansion team that lost Super Bowl XXXVIII to the Pats. Known for its nasty defense and even nastier stadium.

4. Pink Panther
Owns one of the most famous theme songs ever and served as a lucrative home insulation salesman. Blundering detective films in the ’60s made him a supercartoon.

5. Jagdpanther
The fifth Panzer model was easy to move, heavily-armed, and had a roomy interior. It destroyed all types of vehicles, especially the British Gazelle and American Tasty Pig.