Recently, the word “phantom” was discovered spray-painted at a Newton elementary school. Ever since, fear has ripped through the community like a gangsta’s knife through a rival. “I’m just floored,” said a parent of a student at Lincoln-Eliot who wanted to remain anonymous for fear of retaliation. “It’s almost unreal to think [a gang] is in my neighborhood.” For reals!
Since Newton was named the “safest city in America”, you can imagine everyone’s freaking out like crazy. I can’t help but laff. Gangs are taking over the Garden City, y’all!
