Wheat, my friends, is the best thing to ever happen to beer. Our Bavarian buddies have concocted some unbelievable brews that have lasted centuries, and thankfully, found their way down my gullet. Genießen Sie!

#1 - Paulaner
Ever since I laid tastebuds on this liquid gold, I’ve been in love. I’m naming my first-born Paulaner, regardless of gender. I may just move to Germany. If only everything in life were this enjoyable. Das Licht meines Tages.

#2 - Schneider
Last time I had this bootylicious beer, it came in a ceramic stein, so there was no joking around. There is nothing funny about how awesome this stuff is. If I was trapped on a deserted island, I’d choose this and risk dying in five days over fresh water and indefinite survival. Just sayin’.

#3 - Weihenstephaner
Often over-looked due to it’s excessively long, typical German name, these fine suds are perfect for you beer-drenched summer fun. Perfect for any day that ends in “y”. This beer is Heidi Klum’s favorite, so you might as well jump on the hottest Bandwagen this side of Bergisch Gladbach.

#4 - Franziskaner
Ol’ Monkmeister McGee on the label tells you that this beer came from Heaven. He who doubteth the majestic excellence of this holy brew shalt forevermore bear the scorn of the Lord Himself, and be rained upon by fiery rain and open-handed palms.

#5 - Julius Echter
As the grandfather of M.C. Escher and inventor of the Etch-a-Sketch, Julius Echter was not only an outstanding brewmaster, but one of the most important people that has ever lived. His legacy comes 500 delicious mls at a time. One mil more or less would certainly prove fatal.
Warning: this beer not for pregnant women.

*Special mention: Hoegaarden. Ha! Count it.

This is essentially a list of bands that have no immediate plans to hit the Boston area any time soon. The majority of these I’ve never seen, which is no less than soul-wracking.

TV on the Radio
When they tighten up their new live junk, my head will explode.

Band of Horses
Why are they skipping Boston????????? I want answers.

Love Is All
Lazy label won’t send em here. Bastids.

Vitalic
Frenchie just playing hard to get.

The Rapture
Don’t even get me started. We all know what’s in store.

Office
Still unsigned, only playing Chicago for now. Arrr.

Hot Chip
Saw ‘em once, dying to again esp. since The Warning dropped.

We went into Joe’s since Shino had a wait, and I was flatlining from starvation. The Sox/Yanks game was on, so it seemed like a good idea.

We were greeted by a “spirited” host, who nearly caught a beatdown for not turning soccer on for some gents who called ahead. After cruising to our table, we got a hipster waiter who was relatively cool and joked with us for a bit.

I decided to rock the meatloaf, which turned out to be pretty good, enough so that I cleaned my plate, mashed taters & gravy and all. Oh wait, nevermind, I didn’t eat all of my soggy veggies, but who cares. It was tasty.

The decor is semi-swank bar & grill; to quickly sum up, it’s the type of place that puts its all-American logo on its wine glasses (see pic). It’s a nice space to avoid the regular mook sportswad fare. I may be wrong, but I don’t think too many meathead Sox fans wander in there and cause havoc. All in all, a slightly bland but pleasant experience.

By the way, is it just me or are mooky jackwad Sox fans in crazy abundance this season? Please, all of you go back to Lynn or wherever, lube your plow, and leave the city to us.