1. Vandals - The biggest and best of them all. They tore through the Roman Empire, developed Carthage, and generally beat the snot out of most of Europe. Their legacy is typified by being the mascot of the University of Idaho.

2. Teutons - Rocked around Europe, attacking everyone. When they finally ran into the Romans, their women committed mass suicide after they killed the kids. Typical German nobility.

3. Visigoths - Pretty much owned France and Spain. Along with the Ostrogoths, they made up the group called Goths, which are nothing like the pasty, emo dweebs running amok today. Also famous for their massive whitewater-rafting parties in the summer months.

4. Angles - Yeah, aka the English now. You can trace the bad teeth all the way back here. Perhaps the most obtuse of the Germanic tribes, they bisected Europe with several complentary tribes to various degrees over the centuries.

5. Burgundians - They rocked a ton of Germany, but were so careless with raiding that the Romans took ‘em out, but then reinstated them for some reason. The Romans must have wanted someone to harvest all of their wine for them.