Visiting the Easter Bunny at the mall can be an adventure, just like seeing Santa. You never know who’s in the costume, or where the costume’s been. Here are a few tips to help you pick out the best mall bunny.
1. Jacko-style gloves.
‘Nuff said.
2. Sketchy unisex bib. Mostly used as a tobacco spit guard.
3. Big, cuddly, blue eyes hide the bloodshot, rat eyes underneath headpiece.
4. Mysterious urine-like stain. May want to take your kid to the pediatrician after this.
5. Clenched, nervous pose. Guaranteed nightmares for years to come.
6. Syringes in the bushes. Probably just shot up.
7. Partially-chewed ear. Possibly from ex-wife’s pit bull.
