Over the years, as one of the biggest Kirby Puckett fans in the world, I managed to collect some of the late Mr. Puckett’s personal items. So I can move on from his death, I have decided to sell some of them. Here is what I am currently offering for sale. Please e-mail your offers.

Size XXXL girdle

This was Kirby’s lucky girdle throughout the 1987 championship season. He wore it for 172 games total, including the playoffs, and at one point, said he’d like to be buried in it. It’s made of silk and has diamonds studding the zippers. He was extremely proud of this item. Priceless to any Kirby Puckett fan.

Coors Light bikini neon sign

This was in Kirby’s basement for many years, and he said it reminded him of the beach. Kirby was a huge Coors Light fan. He had a giant mural of people drinking Coors Light while performing a satanic ritual painted on his basement wall. It’s still there, as far as I know.

Hall of Fame afro wig

This was it. The one he wore to Cooperstown. Kirby will always be remembered as one of the nicest guys in the game, and his induction ceremony is one people will surely never forget. Kirby got up and told some of the funniest jokes in baseball history, including one about how Kennesaw Mountain Landis fornicated a goat. So classic. Hysterical. Genius.

Brass spittoon

After the ‘93 season, this was never emptied. It still contains all of the chaw that Kirby spit into it over the course of the season. Because it’s still full, it’s pretty heavy, so shipping may be expensive.