Mammoth bats - Everything was bigger in the Jurassic period. Bats could grow to 20′ long, which basically made them big flying burritos. Tyrannosaurs could nab them out of the air with ease and turn one into a furry buffet in no time.

Hadrosaurs - The dinosaur picked on most by the T-Rexes, mostly because they couldn’t run very fast, throw very far, and tended to drive nerdy cars.

Trees - Sometimes food supplies ran a little low, so T-Rexes had to eat trees, which are like broccoli to them. If a Rex could top a tree with some cheese-like tar or a victim’s blood, they became much more palatable.

Strawberries - Perhaps their favorite food, strawberries were found in giant sizes back in the day, just large enough to fit in the Rex’s hilariously short arms. Bon appetit.

Ed Regis - Ah, that poor lawyer from Jurassic Park. No photos of ye exist on the web, and the only reason people remember ye is because ye got chomped by a T-Rex while you were in an outhouse. Ha!

Latest World Sex Slave Rankings Are Out

Iraq: A-
USA: B+
Sweden: B
Germany: B
Libya: C
UK: D
Canada: F
China: F————²

It was a tough year for Canadian sex slaves in 2005, with a record of 4,502 tortures and 9,324 deaths throughout the industry. The USA, on the other hand, despite having over twelve times Canada’s population, had only 530 tortured sex slaves, 103 dead, and 43 permanently disfigured.

Church bus used for sex, drug parties

I don’t understand why companies don’t operate buses that just drive around and have drug and sex parties. I bet there’s a huge market for it.

‘Crash’ Has Most Curse Words of Best Picture Nominees

182 curses, incl. 99 f-bombs puts it well ahead of ‘Brokeback Mountain’ with only 92 and ‘Munich’ with a pathetic 22 curse words. ‘Platoon’ is by far the record with 329, ‘Deer Hunter’ second with 208, and ‘Casablanca’ is third with 199.

High School Wrestlers Practice On Animals

I think it’s a poor reflection on the animal kingdom if two young people can wrestle with lions, tigers, and bears unharmed. If this was 50 years ago, they’d be fighting over teen loin at the dinner table within five minutes.