New! A potato taste sensation! Oh yeah!
New ChipLash! is a new potato chip that is so radical, it’ll give you whiplash! Every bite will snap your neck, and leave your parents wondering “what got into him/her??”
Rock on!
Try our new bold nacho cheese flavor today! It’s like a high-speed, head-on collision in your mouth!
Totally awesome!
Bush makes surprise visit to Afghanistan
After realizing he sent ‘em a ton of troops and money, overthrew its government, levelled the economy, and pissed off a bunch of heroin addicts, ol’ Dubya decided he’d go visit the nation that has been such a knife wound in America’s side for the last five years. How long did he stay? Four hours. About as long as Osama stayed there before he shaved, got a facelift, and moved back to Riyadh. Osama’s starting to take on a Jim Morrison/Elvis quality.
Police arrest 83-year-old woman on child rape charges
That’s from The Dalles, Oregon, the most scenic place on the Oregon Trail game. If you want to prevent nightmares, don’t read the details.
Shop kids create superfast, efficient, soybean-fueled car
It goes 0-60 in 4 seconds @ 50 mpg. Too bad no one likes soybeans. Corn all the way, suckas!
