Figure skaters have the best legs of any sport

I saw a handful of the figure skaters last night, and just about every last one of them had a nice set of gams.

It almost made the competition worth watching. Almost. There are some Sasha Cohen pictures around such as this one that make my head spin. If figure skating didn’t suck so much, I’d have a new favorite sport.

Freestyle skier overshoots landing, lands on hot dog vendor

Over 200 hot dogs were turned into dog food after an Austrian freestyler, hopped up on steroids, sailed way over the designated landing spot, and into the concession area. Details to come.

	Big Pussy Italian Olympic Leisure Correspondent
	I got to meet Sasha Cohen last night while she was warming up. I told her if there’s anything I can do to help her win to let me know. I’ve never strangled a figure skater before, but I imagine it feels pretty nice.

Typo leads meth addicts to phone sex line

Is it just me or are phone sex vendors the most clever, savvy people in the world? Seems like they always have a sex chat line one number off from a helpline. This is about the 240,623th story exactly like this in the last year.

Grandmother: Nigerians ‘planted drug in my gnomes’

Sure, blame the Nigerians for your gnome’s coke habit.

Nuggets’ Ruben Patterson must register as sex offender

Another class act in the Nuggets organization. Patterson follows other such players with convictions as Robert Pack (arson), Kenyon Martin (Class XII pedophilia), and Dikembe Mutombo (1st degree armed robbery).

Man-made prostate created by women

I think I’ll just hang on to my original prostate, thanks.