Last night in Lowell, I witnessed the finals of the N.E. Golden Gloves tourney. There were seven fights total, and this is how they sort of went:

115 lbs: It’s hard to believe guys can be halfway strong and still weigh 115 lbs. Only unanimous of the night. Good

125 lbs: A real snoozer. Don’t really remember what happened. Could have been kangaroo kickboxing. Zzz….

Foxyboxing: The fight of the night. Some latina chick beat the living crap out of some italian gal who could’ve actually been a dude. Cringes, cheers, and laughter overflowed. Excellente’

135 lbs: Know the phrase “strength and honor” from Gladiator? That definitely did not apply here. Low blows, headbutts, forearm shivers, the works. Dirty

145 lbs: Two guys have never been more afraid of each other. I don’t think a single punch was landed in four rounds. Craptastic

152 lbs: Demetrius Andrade, the nation’s #1, looked more like the nation’s #100 in a bout he should’ve easily won. It came down to a decision, but D-rade came out on top. Alright

Super Heavyweight: “Nasty” Nate James took his 350+lb. frame into the ring against some scrub half his size. Nasty clobbered the dude onto the canvas a couple times, and almost threw him completely through the ropes. Fun