American Ice Dancer Wins Gold Medal for Hotness
This fine fillie is officially the hottest olympian the U.S. has ever had. I think she may have won a gold medal in her real event, I’m not sure, bue either way, she can get on my podium any time.
I don’t remember her name, but it’s like Belbin or Gelbin or Golgi or something. Does it even matter?
Idaho boy calls Bode Miller “worst scam of the year”
A six-year-old boy from Boise, Idaho has declared Bode Miller the biggest lie of 2006, only two months into the year. “He doesn’t deserve to have a Nike commercial. He doesn’t even deserve to wear shoes. I hate Bode Miller,” he told the Boise Sentinel. He went on: “Bode Miller probably likes little boys, and since he can’t molest them while he’s in Italy, he’s having withdrawal problems.”
Big PussyItalian Olympic Leisure Correspondent
To celebrate Presidents’ Day, I watched the USA vs. Canada in curling. About halfway through, I pulled an M-80 out of my pocket, lit it, and threw it down on the ice right next to the Canadians. They didn’t know what hit ‘em for like 20 minutes. Pigrones.