Senegal’s olympic team is some Austrian guy
Torino – Sad, but true. The guy’s never even been to Senegal. If that’s the case, I hereby declare myself a member of the… Sri Lankan olympic team.
After quietly participating, I will go back to Sri Lanka and claim a harem of women that adore me for my olympic prowess. Then I will buy a hotel and live in it by myself.
Olympic official run over by bobsled
Pragelato – In a horrifying moment, Olympic official Gustavo Torinato was mowed down by a speeding bobsled, breaking an Olympic Record 213 bones in his body. The previous mark of 211 broken bones was set by skier Jan Mullendorf of Germany when he fell out of a gondola.
Big PussyItalian Olympic Leisure Correspondent
Last night, I saw some shark trying to hustle a lady at a game of pool. I stepped in on her behalf, and eventually wrapped my pool cue around his skull. I should get a medal for the number of times that stick broke while I was beating him.
I’m on the Greek bobsled team. We kinda suck, but I get all the free feta cheese that I want.
Is Alfonseca working the Olympics when he should be at spring training?…’cause the normal adult skeleton only has 206 bones!
Damn your knowledge of bones, Dangle!