Are you Hungary for Turkey?

Then pack your bags and head for the Turkish Aegean port of Bodrum, where you can sunbathe on a beach Cleopatra had imported from Egypt. You can also hit the trendy nightlife, which boasts some of the best saz jazz clubs around. Hang out in Old Halicarnassus’ castles, where you may even find some ancient tombs to loot.

If you get arrested for anything, which you probably will, here’s a list of embassies to call to bail you out of trouble.

Visitor reviews:
“I d to live there” - Gökhan
“me also and l love it gokhan.” - kebab

Check out what I got in my email. I’ve always wanted a pop rapper posing on my debit card, but I could never decide which one. Mastercard and myPlash have made that decision for me, and Chingy is the one.

Chingy.myplash.com

Olympic athletes fond of Italian porn vending machines

Torino - If there’s one thing good that Italy has given us in the last ten years, it’s definitely these vending machines. They should put ham sandwich & cigarette vending machines right next to them.

Downhill skier attacked by Alpine yeti before run

Sestriere - Minutes before his 2nd qualifying run in the Men’s downhill, French racer Sebastian Montbleu disappeared into the snowy forest, last seen from a distance by an on-looker being dragged into the trees, apparently motionless. There is a manhunt on for him with several dozen authorities trying to track him down.

Man finds gold medal in salad bar

Sauze d’Oulx - A British man attending the games found a gold medal from this year’s games in the ranch dressing container of a cafeteria salad bar. “I wanted a big scoop of ranch to put on my cereal, and when I dipped the ladle, I literally struck gold,” he recalled. He later turned it in.

	Big Pussy Italian Olympic Leisure Correspondent
	Last night I ran into Wayne Gretzky at a medal ceremony and I told him that if Tocchet goes down, then he’ll go down. That’s a promise. Then I stuck a steak knife in his leg to let him know I mean it.

Paul Simon, Dylan to Headline New Orleans Jazz Fest

Also strangely featured in the lineup: Dave Matthews Band, Keith Urban, Lionel Richie, and Jimmy Buffet. Does that make any sense?

Mormon dude’s mind blown by DNA test

It took finding out that native Americans came from Asia to show him how ridiculous Mormonism is.

Follow-up: Duce Staley: “I Wasn’t Robbed”

Playaahh, turn your head round
Take off that crown, you’ve been robbed…

MySpace users to get their own cell phones

Now deny 100’s of emo bands being your friend on the go.

Pandemic preparation: Know how to bury your dead

Also in the article, how to pose for tapestries, and several requiem chants.