I didn’t realize it was this bad, but here are just a few reasons why ‘82 blew:

February 19 - The DeLorean car company goes bankrupt.
April 24 - Kelly Clarkson, American singer, born
April - June: Entire Falklands War happens
September 5 - Iowa paperboy Johnny Gosch kidnapped.
September 14 - Grace Kelly, actress and Princess of Monaco, dies
October 8 - Poland bans Solidarity
December 7 - First US execution by lethal injection is carried out in Texas.
December 26 - Time Magazine’s Man of the Year was given to a freaking computer

Top music single: “Physical”, Olivia Newton-John
Top grossing movie: Tootsie
World Series: St. Louis d. Milwaukee Brewers (?!), 4-3
Stupid Weddings: Pac-man marries Ms. Pac-Man during Super Bowl halftime show (must… find… proof…)

“What happened to the family cat?”

It crawled under the back porch and died quietly.

The somber piano carol asking the question opens up the final Grandaddy album with a tone that finally tips the band’s scale between shiny, dry humor and disappointed, funereal alienation over to the latter.

After busting open the doors of the future fuzz factory, “Jeez Louise”, …Fambly Cat walks out to a hillside during sunset with an acoustic guitar with “Summer… It’s Gone” to watch digital daydreams slide into memory. It’s foggy with static, but with the effect of headlights shining through it.

“Rear View Mirror” saunters around a shag carpet with wool socks while “The Animal World” mopes.

“Where I’m Anymore” could just as well be “Lost On Yer Merry Way”. “50%” reminds me a lot of Grandaddy wanna-bes Earlimart’s “Burning the Cow”. 50% less words come out and bite. “Disconnecty” finishes up a lot like “Now It’s On”. That’s about all you need to know. …Fambly Cat functions as a disconnect from invention in an unappreciative environment.

“This Is How It Always Starts” is a cyclical laundry list of hollowness drowned in alt-tronic ether.

Lytle seems like the crazy guy in the next-door cubicle who knows his job is killing him. The album is escape and release from its convoluted alternative existence, feeling glad to survive while lacking fondness. Hypnotic, airy electronics often buzz and swirl, creating a semi-confused whirlwind of surreality that always laces Grandaddy’s music. It feels like the storm is finally dying down.

As this final album doesn’t progress as much as reflect, Grandaddy gives us an admirable send-off, if nothing else, doubling back over a lot of the good memories the band gave us. It’s self-homage, but sincere, as if any fan would have designed it.

No one shows up for Men’s figure skating

Torino - Last night on PTI, Wilbon said it best when he said “I’ve got 500 channels,” meaning that he’d sooner watch anything in the world he possibly could before he watched the men’s figure skating. I accidentally saw a flash of it, and I’m pretty sure they’re all just trannies now.

Chinese chick explosively falls during routine

Torino - Check out the video. This is possibly the best crash since that Russian gal busted her whole face on the ice a while back.

	Big Pussy Italian Olympic Leisure Correspondent
	A guy sitting next to me at the slalom finals told me there’s an Italian legend of a unicorn in the Alps around Torino, so I took my gun to the forest. Something in the trees moved and scared me, so I shot it, but it was just a hiker. I’m going to go out looking again tomorrow.

Duce’s Bling Bagged In Strip Scuffle

Duce Staley’s Super Bowl ring got jacked along with some serious cash. Suspects named in the case include current Denver quarterback, Jake Plummer. After admitting involvement in the robbery, Plummer said he “accidentally threw it away”, once again costing a man the opportunity of wearing a Super Bowl ring.

Bobby Brown’s daughter’s myspace page gets her in trouble

LaPrinzia, 16, or whatever her name is, has apparently sipped tha juice, made out with girls, and done all sorts of things that every teen on myspace has. Expect her to be kidnapped soon.

Sheep Abuser Must Register as Sex Offender

It says he has prior convictions for uttering and publishing. Does anyone have a clue what that means? If it’s regarding graphic sex with livestock, nevermind.

Vietnamese man hasn’t slept since 1973

Imagine having 24 awake hours a day? Best life ever.