Family Finds Raw Meat Instead Of iPod Inside Sealed Box
This is possibly the worst ad campaign by the Meat Industry Association of America ever. Back in 2000, they dropped meat products from helicopters all over Manhattan, and last year, they put raw meat under every seat at the Super Bowl. This has to stop.
Chart of the Michigan/Nebraska final play (.pdf)
If they drew all of the Nebraska sideline players, it would look like a big, delicious plate of spaghetti.
“Brownie, you’re doing a heckuva job” voted Dubya’s most memorable phrase of 2005
My fave was “Those who enter the country illegally violate the law”, but 2005 was kind of a slow year, compared to “Fool me once…” and other classics of the past.
Related: dubyaspeak.com
Illinois basketball fans duped by really bogus tickets
Not only were there no seats listed on the tickets, but each had “Illinios” on there twice, and there are no seats in the arena even close to the $50 face value. As if it wasn’t bad enough watching your national runner-up turn into a practice squad in the off-season, you lose 50 bucks and don’t even get to see them play.
Best Names in College Basketball
Those are pretty good, but these are better.
Basically, the 
Swordplay
Flagging
Screw It
Music’s most-famous ho really had a good year in 2005. She may have the #1 album, she performed at numerous awards shows, she didn’t have a nervous breakdown, and she was allowed to adopt over 400 cats from the Phillippines. On second thought, nevermind about the nervous breakdown.
Oink. Doesn’t anyone shoot people in the leg anymore? It’s weird, this whole thing turned out just like the final scene of Lethal Weapon 4. Except Jet Li was a slower, older, crazier black dude.
