…gonna eat a lot of peaches.

Not.

I will, however, be chillin’ and thrillin’ in Lex all weekend with much fam. Be back on Sunday. Y’all have a good V-day weekend now, ya hear?

Ah, General Tso, you have proven yourself a worthy adversary once again.

Argh, so full… You win. This time.

#1 - Homey the Clown

Truly a television legend. With his whoopin’ sock and detached sarcasm, Homey schooled folks of all ages and races. Whenever BS was afoot, especially by The Man, Homey would bring the pain and smack ‘em upside tha dome. “I don’t think so… Homey don’t play dat.”

#2 - Fire Marshall Bill

Possibly Jim Carrey’s most entertaining character. He safened up everywhere he went while inflicting the maximum amount of damage to himself. He lit himself on fire, ground up his hand, and drank acid, just to name a few ways that he prevented danger. “Let me show ya something…”

#3 - Handyman

How could anyone not love Handyman? Especially when he fell out of windows so he could fly away. Being crippled has never been so cool.

Did he have a midget sidekick? Or was that just a villain. I really need to buy the DVDs.

 
#4 - Wanda

This is what started Jamie Foxx’s ascent. He was a bit player until this role. He terrorized the hell out of Tommy Davidson, making for some of ILC’s most hilarious moments. The massage skit is epic.

“I gotchu and I’m read’ to go….”

#5 - The Head Detective

The Head Detective’s greatest technique was being thrown by his partner at the criminal. After he tackled him, THD would bust out his gun on ‘em at point blank. If only real cops would learn something from him.

My old Sony Ericsson T316 is missing parts, freezes, loses its battery, and all kinds of other crap, so I ordered a Sony Ericsson K700i from eBay, which unofficially works with my Cingular service.

Unfortunately, the bastards didn’t tell me it was branded for Vodafone, a UK carrier. So the menu’s all Voda-fized, which sucks and you can’t easily change that. So I had to order a T28 serial service cable off of eBay, with which I will flash the freaking thing and start from scratch. Oi!

Also, as a part of Vodafone’s nifty setup, you can’t use mp3s as ringtones if they’re not digitally licensed. So in order for me to play the clip of MMJ’s “One Big Holiday” (download mp3) that starts with “Waking up feeling/Good & limber/When the telephone it ring/etc” as my alarm clock in the morning, I had to download some program from Sony and put a fake digital license on my mp3 clip, then emailed it to my phone. Shizzzz, why they gotta be gangsta?

In the meantime, I can listen to FM radio on it. I have a USB cable coming so that I can transfer pics & vids off of it, and mp3s onto it. And since it only connects on Cingular with the 1900 mhz frequency, the sound quality is a lot better. I’m going to see if i can get MobiTV on this mofo.

Such fun, yet such a pain in the ass. Freakin’ eBay.

Rothko sells for $22M, sets post-war record

Marky Mark Rothkokonuts’ “Homage To Matisse” sold yesterday @ Christie’s to some guy who’s paying roughly $5.5 million per color. I personally prefer the poster versions, which run for about five bucks a color.

Rothko kicks butt, so I can understand why he set a record. Well, until someone buys a Pollock by the square inch. When the guy in that Acura(?) commercial paints like Pollock, it makes me laugh and cry at the same time.

Related: Christie’s listing page (lot 34)

Al-Qaeda bombs Jordan hotel, 57 die

Why do all news outlets always say terrorist groups “claim responsibility” of bombings? Did Japan “claim responsibility” of bombing Pearl Harbor? Is it that hard to figure out and publish a headline that uses action verbs?

Dog gives birth to green puppy

He’s going to face a lifetime of Hulk, envy, toxic, wasabi, and placenta jokes.

San Francisco outlaws handguns

There is a special provision, however, that allows men dressed as gay cops to carry fake handguns as part of the costume. Voters also OK’d a bill to allow straight cops on the force. A truly historic day for the Bay Area.