Man crashes plane into Wal-Mart

Wal-Mart, which replaced the WTC as America’s foremost symbol of corporate domination, has been struck in similar fashion. Fortunately for Wal-Mart, all of their assets aren’t in two giant towers, but in thousands of evil hubs around the world. Plane crashes aren’t going to work.

In order to take down Wal-Mart, we’ll have to play the waiting game. Just like with the British royal family, Wal-Mart’s power has extended to the corners of the globe, and ultimately, will be destroyed by inbreeding.

Vietnamese farmers feed fish with bird-flu-soaked feces

I’m not sure who’s getting the short end of the stick. One on hand, we could all be more rapidly infested with super-deadly bird flu, but on the other hand, those fish are eating tainted feces. I’ll go with the flu, thanks.

Negros safe from bird flu, say doctors, executives

What?

Tom Vek is a little girly waif with a badass set of pipes.

Reminds me of the lead singer of The Delays, but with the completely opposite voice.

He’s a tenorized, Harley-fied hip-so-slackto.

Last night’s show was an early test for the Vektones. Their scheissekopf drummer flew the coop the night before, so the Vekster had to do the drumming himself. Rumor has it, the drummer went into the restroom at Mickey D’s and then ran out, butt-naked into the street and never came back. TV managed to pull it off, however, because he played his guitar track on the Trackmaster-On-Stool behind him. It was a little too close, though, cause he turned the freaking thing off with his elbow in the middle of a song.

They started with “C-C (You Set the Fire In Me)”, which set the tone as one of those shows where the rooks are more concerned with emulating their album than particularly rocking out.

Vek’s album sound came through nicely over the loop-de-loops of jackaloopery. Vek’s bassists must’ve played the riff in “Nothing But Green Lights” a billion times, but the whole electro-pipe cycle and paint-shaker drums shuffled things along nicely.

“On the Road” just sort of idled along with Vek repeating two lines 5,000 times, and made me want to press the “Skip” button, but it happened to be real life.

Everything else sounded just like it does on the album.

Overall, Vek and the Vektones grooved solidly, especially for the first time in America, and especially for their first show since losing their drummer to some disturbing set of circumstances. Let’s hope they recover his body quickly so his family can sleep at night.