Floridians spot mysterious “2″ in Wilma’s eye

Notice how the channel reporting this is NBC2. Methinks this is just a stupid advertising ploy. Even if you can convince yourself that it looks like 2, there’s probably not enough paint thinner in your house to help you find a significance in it. It’s sad to see that there are bored people in Florida. Doesn’t anyone go to the beach anymore?

Dick to replace Johnson vs. Gamecocks, says Nutt

100% true.

Nazi raccoons invade German wine country

They were released back in 1934 on orders by Goering, who was also the chief forester of the Reich. An Allied bomb released tons of them into the wild when it hit a raccoon farm. Also, raccoons in Germany are called “wash-bears” and have opposable thumbs. They are considered a delicacy in Canada.

Pastor Electrocuted, Dies During Baptism

Ho ho, that’s embarassing.

Ex-Iowa hoops star Pierce gets two-year prison term

Pierre “Don’t Call Me Paul” Pierce finally had his wild ride come to an end. Since he was somewhat good in the court, he felt obligated to consistently terrorize women. Can you imagine telling your folks you’re going to PMITA prison for terrorizing your girlfriend? Was there really nothing better to do that night?