White Sox win World Series, awkwardly make out
Finally, the Second City, or Second-To-Last City as I call it, has a reason to celebrate other than Michael Jordan. #23 will probably steal the show at the victory parade anyway. Anyway, congrats, they kicked major arse and earned every ridiculous karat in their rings.
Harriet Miers withdraws Supreme Court nomination
‘Bout time. There was no way she was gonna jive with the Senate. Now, Bush will pull some ace out of his sleeve and nominate some lost, unknown sibling who’s been practicing law and presided on a bench in Texas as a pro-lifer and proponent of the death penalty. I’ve never been a big fan of that weird duality.
Lawsuit: Siegfried taunts, torments, humiliates Roy
Too easy.
Man Breaks Into Seminary, Chugs 7-Up, Urinates On Chair
This is why I don’t drink 7-Up. Ever.
Kids Find Dogs Chewing On Human Infant’s Corpse
(vomits)
Harvard Masturbator now charged with rape
Remember the guy who got busted for publicly wanking at Harvard? Well, he posed as a fake taxi and raped some women, too. He definitely wins Worst of Boston in the human category.
