Ashlee Simpson gets SNL do-over
Who cares? It’s not like we want to see her succeed.
I would really like to see her screw her lip-synching up again. That would be the best moment in music history.
Related: Ashlee on SNL / Booed @ Orange Bowl
Jessica Simpson & Nick Lachey split
I think we all saw this coming after the first episode of their MTV show when Nick punched her in the face.
Univ. of Iowa gets pranked hard
Someone burned “Iowa Sucks” into their football field by using a herbicide. It took a while for anyone to notice, because it took a while for the grass to die. I have nothing but props and admiration for the pranksters, and I feel many more similar pranks should occur.
Cleaning Fridge Is Most-Hated Post-Katrina Task
Scrubbing corpses, sewage, and rotten food out of a fridge is sign that you should just buy a new fridge. Anyone who’s ever stuffed a cat into a mini-fridge knows this.
Conan O’Brien Devotes Entire Show to U2
The American wing of the defunct IRA is currently taking over the entertainment industry. In unrelated news, Colin Quinn got a paint can stuck on his head.
Canadian lottery winner blows fortune, kills self after 2 years
Kind of a funny story, actually.
Hot lady-soldier wins Purple Heart
Definitely the hottest Purple Heart winner ever. If Catherine Zeta-Jones wins one, though, it’s a whole different ballgame.
