DeLay Indicted On New Money Laundering Charges

I always knew there was something royally sheisty about Tom DeLay, but this is getting ridiculous. Texas seems to be a hotbed of massive corruption and fraud, but we all knew that going into the 2004 election, right? Right? Ugh.

And, please, everyone shut up about Geena Davis.

Germans invent nicotine beer

This is by far the best solution to quitting smoking I’ve ever heard of. Instead of everybody walking around nervously puffing cigarettes, everyone will be walking around nervously drinking this beer in cups. This should make the world a whole lot funnier to itself.

Police mace Chiefs coach before loss to Eagles

After getting destroyed by McNabb & T.O., all of the Chiefs’ coaches should be maced. They almost looked as bad as the Pats’ D on Sunday. Guess why the Pats run-stop D sucks so bad. Yep, because Monty Beisel is filling the middle, who used to play on the vomit-inducing Chiefs D. We really need TJ (Ted Johnson - or Tom Jackson, for that matter) to come out of retirement and Bruschi to come back.

Johnny Damon celebrates with Astros hat on

Why was there even an Astros hat in the clubhouse? Stupid? Yes. Idiotic? Yes.