McRorie: a one-man synth-metal wrecking crew. Basically, the best stage act ever.

Aaron Small: apparently, this damn Yankee has been undefeated all year, and is 10-0 since being called up. (?!?)

Skycar: Yeah, it really is a flying car. Buy one here.

Uranium is the deadliest metal: and all this time, I thought it was Judas Priest. How disappointing.

The Sox won another thriller last night: Not only should Papi win MVP, but Time’s Man of the Year

Boston has a radio station called “The River”: hahahahah. WTFOMG so teh ghey!1!ONE!!.

Okie Noodling: The Flaming Lips and others did the music for the film. It’s the greatest outdoor activity. Noodling Pics

William Bennett makes most racist comment ever

He’s completely unapologetic about it, too. He seems to think that it’s fine and dandy that he proposed such a ridiculous scenario, and proved that it is, indeed, ridiculous. He doesn’t quite see that the fact that coming up with such a scenario in his mind and suggesting the context is what makes him blatantly racist.

It’s like if we shot every person who can wiggle their ears to solve America’s weight problem.

Judge orders release of Abu Ghraib photos

Awesome. I bet there are some really messed-up pics coming our way. Military perversions are by far the worst of all perversions, as we’ve seen.

Texas Judge Orders Teen Barred From Sex

I hope all of the Roe v. Wade protesters show up and start up another “get out of my vagina” type of fracas.

Eviction Escape: Man Flees, 200-lb. Pig Attacks

What a great bodyguard. Even if he took a bullet for you, you’d have a whole bunch of breakfast meats on your hands. In other news, I could go for some hash browns right now.