House GOP Shaken Up After DeLay Indictment

Tom DeLay, known as the “political Ken Lay” is yet another shady Texan that, collectively, keep making the Lewinsky scandal look like a game of pattycake. What a fraud.

If Dems don’t take full advantage of this, we’re doomed. When the dust settles on this GOP reign, it will be remembered as the time “we should’ve paid attention to elections”.

Cops fire 77 bullets to injure gunman

Some statistics about 77 bullets:

Combined, are enough metal to build a Ford Festiva
If their trajectories were lined up, it would reach the moon
Not nearly enough ammo for NYC cops to hit one target

Guatemalan man posed as high school student to learn English

Brian: Pure Bogota bullion. This is a drug ring.
Joe: But these are just kids.
Brian: Yeah? What’s your name?
Ricky: Ricky.
Brian: They’re not kids. They’re midgets!
Brian: Filthy, drug-peddling midgets!

Smart beer mat orders refills

I prefer the ol’ hot-laser-in-barkeep’s-eye technique or just chucking empty glasses at them. Call me old-fashioned.