71-year-old woman crowned Homecoming Queen
Only in Oklahoma. Speaking of homecomings in Oklahoma, I’ll be at the Jenks homecoming football game. We play Memorial, which should amount to a 77-7 beating. All you Jenks ‘98 peeps better represent.
Ashton Kutcher, Demi Moore get married?
Who cares.
Weis’ uses dying boy’s play call to open Irish game
This would be a great story if the kid didn’t die on Friday. Either way, his call gained 13 yards while starting from their own 1. This all reminds me of that Chappelle’s Show skit where he plays the dying kid in NBA Street. “Tell your little friends, that dreams really do come true. Dave Chappelle came and saw you in the hospital and whooped your monkey ass at some “Street Hoops”!
Battle robots could join dogs on S. Korea border
Now we’re getting somewhere. I’m surprised it didn’t happen a long time ago. If I had my way, I’d make all of those robots like Klinger from M*A*S*H. Ah, the cross-dressing hilarity.
Cows cause fatal truck crash, oil spill
They blame cows for everything these days. Global warming, deforestation, rust-colored water. To help us take out our frustrations on these unscrupulous bovines, I proclaim today National Cow Pinata Day.
