Follow-up: F***ing signs now theft-proof

In the Austrian town of F*cking, signs with the city’s name are constantly stolen, not because of the hilarious translated profanity, but because the signs are made of 100% pure Lipizzaner gut.

The mayor has ordered that a large grizzly bear be attached to every sign, and if thieves approach, the bear shall tear them limb from limb. Makes sense.

400 Million Viewers Have Tuned Into Mongolian Cow Sour Yogurt Supergirl Contest

What have we been missing? I’m calling up DirecTV right now and getting the package. If it’s anything at all like it’s name, then it’s already the greatest show ever by far. Charles In Charge ain’t got nothin’ on MCSYSC.

Stupid chick injured in fall at Rolling Stones concert

First of all, what 20-year-old goes to a Stones show? One stupid enough to climb the rafters, I guess. Anyway, our plan is to use Dangle’s porch which overlooks Fenway to watch the Tuesday show, if for no other reason than just because we can. Have fun paying $5,000 to see Mick’s wrinkles, chumps.

Ex-NFL RB Lawrence Phillips Runs Over Teens With Car

This guy is one of my favorite sports personalities of the last 10 years. I have the feeling that he’s not done, either. Not by a long shot.

Synthesizer Inventor Robert A. Moog Dies at 71

R.I.P.