This ain’t Vegas, but it’s close. Here are the latest odds on which MLB player will be officially busted for steroid use. Rumors are flyin’, and players’ sperm counts are dyin’. Who’s it gonna be?
| Player | Odds | Reason |
| Giambi, Jason | 2-3 | Uh… duh… |
| Sheffield, Gary | 2-1 | He ‘n’ Bonds are butt-roid buddies |
| Lopez, Javy | 5-2 | Went from 10 HR/yr to 30? Fishy… |
| Clemens, Roger | 3-1 | Huge, old, and 1.32 ERA? (alarm) |
| Bonds, Barry | 5-1 | By 5-1, I really mean 1-1 |
| Helton, Todd | 8-1 | If you ask him, he gets all shady |
| Zito, Barry | 15-1 | Just plain likes to cheat |
| Schmidt, Jason | 30-1 | Well, used to, now he’s 100 lbs. lighter |
| Dunn, Adam | 40-1 | He’s the Donkey, not Donkey Kong |
| Ichiro | 100-1 | Doubtful, but could explain everything |
| Ramirez, Manny | 1000-1 | Same ol’ Manny, for better or worse |
If you have any insight to others, submit them via comment.
