Boy on trike steals bag o’ natural gas
First of all, the fact that bags of natural gas exist freaks me out. It’s like the world’s deadliest water balloon.
Secondly, how much weight can a boy on a trike-shaw pull? The answer is “more than a Dodge, that’s for sure.” Gotcha, Dodge! Hahaahahaaahahahaha. Losers.
And, speaking of balloons, on last night’s Stella, there was a buffoon/balloon joke. So sweet.
300 Bombs Simultaneously Go Off In Bangladesh
To me, this is more terroristically-talented than 9/11. (It’s evil, it’s all evil, I’m not condoning it, don’t arrest me!)
Chinatown Bus Goes Up In Flames
A classic lesson in “you get what you pay for”.
Crocodile Blood: Cure For AIDS?
It is estimated that 50,000,000 crocodiles would be needed to eliminate AIDS. In order to get the miracle blood, a needle is stuck through a croc’s head into its sinus. It is also estimated that 50,000,000 scientists will die in the process of obtaining the cure.


Chinese fire drill, for real this time!
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