| #1: Pig - Pts: 986 - Previous: #2 Swine put up a strong performance this week, filling our refrigerator with everything from bacon to sausage to feet. A pig also won Coloradoan of the Year, making them the obvious #1 this week. |
 |
| #2: Goat - Pts: 607- Previous: #4 After a week of producing delicious cheeses worldwide, goats climbed up into the #2 spot. Also helping their ranking was a goat in Bangladesh who rescued an entire village from rising floods. |
 |
| #3: Hen - Pts: 552 - Previous: #3 Steady at #3, the hen put out a near-record number of eggs this week, causing me to fix roughly 17 omelettes in 3 days. I will never, ever, ever do that again. Ugh. |
 |
| #4: Horse - Pts: 496 - Previous: Unranked The horse returns to the Top 5 after it was discovered that Mr. Ed could eat a raccoon whole. Also, a horse in Thailand set a glue factory on fire, saving hundreds of horses’ lives, if only for a few days. |
 |
| #5: Cow - Pts: 348 - Previous: #1 It was a terrible week for the cow. A nationwide rash of tipping and shortage of Worcestershire sauce doomed the bovine’s chances owning the top spot for the second week in a row. |
 |
August 12, 2005
Farm Animal Power Rankings: Week 7 
Friday
Cops called to investigate fake tiger
There’s nothing better than seeing cops get duped.
They should make a show on FOX that’s called “Pranks On Cops” or something. It’d be like a real-life Reno 911! mixed with a little Jerky Boys and Three’s Company.
Kids Get To Keep $98,000 They Found
Jackpot City, USA.
Denver hasn’t hired a black firefighter in 5 years
Wow, Denver really is the most racist city in America. At least they’re trying to fix it… by eliminating screening tests. Whatever. They don’t even have fires in Denver, what with the thinner air and all.
Also, Ben, if you’re reading this, your room has been completely destroyed.
Gas hits $6.68/gallon in Norway
They should be getting the invasion discount.
Chinese man confirmed as world’s tallest
You thought Yao was a one-in-a-billion kinda guy? Nope, there are now at least two Chinese peeps who are famous for being ridiculously tall. That’s good to know.
