Crazy lady jumps with baby from 24th floor in downtown Boston, both die horribly

It would be a lot better if people made that bomb-dropping whistle sound when they jumped off of buildings. Anyway, everyone’s pretty freaked out about it.

She left two suicide notes, one back upstairs, and one on their flattened bodies, saying she hoped for forgiveness.

God may be able to forgive her infanticide/suicide, but the city clean-up crew who had to get their gear & spatulas back out at quitting time? Forget it.

Mr. Joy arrested for selling dried bread as crack

In my opinion, people buying fake drugs is one of comedy’s hidden gems. Fake marijuana, fake crack, fake opium, even fake mushrooms. To think people get duped by wax, bread crumbs, rubber, and shiitakes on a daily basis amuses me to no end. I wonder how many millions of dollars are lost each year to dealers selling fake drugs.

Florida police search for naked tickler

Tickling strangers has to be one of the most awkward, disturbing activities one could perform. Imagine if someone that you didn’t know walked up to you right now and tickled you. Arrgghhh

Last of Comanche ‘Code Talkers’ Dies in Tulsa

These guys were way cooler than Audie Murphy. What the hell kind of name is Audie?