Does anyone have an invite to Indietorrents sitting around? I’ll trade you one for an invite to Oink. You know you want to.

The story goes:

Cops find underage drinking in a park, so they confiscate the beer. They take it back to the station, and upon realizing there probably won’t be a trial or anything, they remove it as evidence. To get rid of it, they drive to a random park, yell out the window at some people, ask them if they want free beer and give it to them, as for once, they really ARE good cops.

So, in their honor, here are blurbs that come from Google when you search for “cops with beer”:

“Fat old cops with beer bellies and bald spots”
“GET SOME COPS WITH BEER AND CRACK OVER HERE!”
“unless you bribe the cops, with beer, that is”
“Flashing girlies and drunk-ass punks assaulting cops with beer bottles.”
“A great place to drive around in front of cops with beer cans on your dashboard !”

“Official site of Cops With Beer”

Good recap of celebrity insanity this summer

GD celebs have been even crazier than this guy. Of course Cruise, Holmes, Chappelle, and Spederline are mentioned. But, actually, the weirdest celebrity moment of the summer so far has to be when Walter Matthau broke into Carl Lewis’ house.

By the way, I saw a commercial for Deuce Bigolo 2 last night. I’m buying a one-way ticket to the moon.

Arnold the Crime-Fighting Pig Dies

PTFO to a true American hero. Like so many before him, he did something sort-of courageous, rested on his big fat laurels, put on hundreds of pounds, and died of a heart attack. For some reason, they cremated him instead of turning him into 750 delicious meals.

Related: Drew Rosenhaus saves a drowned kid’s life?!?!?!?!

UK teachers say term ‘fail’ should be ‘deferred success’

I disagree. I think, if anything, the term should be harsher. Instead of “fail”, it should be “ruin your future”. Since grades and schooling are so important. Oh, wait. Nevermind. Ah, teachers. They try so hard. Bless ‘em.

9,000-Year-Old Beer Made From Chinese Recipe

We’re going to get a keg of it for our late-July party. It’s going to cost roughly $87,000, so we may ask for donations. Developing…