Spurs Win Game 7, Duncan named MVP
Congrats to the Spurs, it’s impossible to say they didn’t earn it, what, with it going to Game Seven and all. I wouldn’t say they played particularly well, however, especially down the stretch.
It was more like a battle of ineptitude for most of the game, then Detroit somehow fell off the face of the earth in the final five minutes, except for Rasheed Wallace. Two Sheeds could’ve beaten the Spurs by themselves. And I blame Ben Wallace for not blowin’ out the fro. No mojo whatsoever.
Claude, TX becomes official new “Buttcrack of America”
The residents of former #1 buttcrack, Franklin, NJ, are reportedly stunned at the development, saying they thought the reputation for being America’s Worst would forever remain New Jersey’s. Hey, chin up, New Jersey, you’re still #1 in my book.
‘Silicone party’ goes heinously wrong
This is like a transexual version of the steroidal ass injections that Giambi, Bonds and Canseco performed on each other. The silicone is injected into various parts of the body to provide enhancement, much like the anabolic steroids Giambi and his buttworm took during his MVP years. Does anyone know if Giambi is even still alive?
Ancient bone not from monkey spy
I told you it was too good to be true.
This crap is going to die fast, I’m telling you. Think of this as the hip-hop version of Insane Clown Posse combined with break-dancing. Plus, the director’s name is Dave LaChappelle, who has probably already confused millions of people of thinking he’s Dave Chappelle.
As most of you have heard by now, the 
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