This is easily the best goat story of 2005 so far.
A heart-warming tale about a blind goat named Ray Charles and a boy who saw the magic within. Once little Clark Throckmorton (trying saying that 5 times fast) noticed that Ray kept bumping into the barn wall, he thought, “hey, that goat’s blind! I’ll get him some fancy goggles!” And so he did.
Now Ray-Ray bumps around the barnyard in high style with his Gucci goggles. CBS recently discussed a potential sitcom with Ray, saying the “time is right for a flashy goat hero on primetime TV.”
Related: KY officials run terrorism drill at goat show
Also related: “Sheep go to Heaven/Goats go to Hell”
Snapple’s 17-Ton Popsicle Melts, Floods Union Square
Not to be confused with Allston’s Union Square, which features the sweet, sweet Model Cafe and Twin Donut, New York’s Union Square was completely crapped on by Snapple as the beverage maker’s idiotic stunt of showing off the world’s largest popsicle turned into showing off the world’s largest ant problem.
Grandfather Rips Leopard’s Tongue Out
Talk about cajones. That guy’s going to sit around a campfire every single night for the rest of his life and tell that story. There should be a full-length movie made about this. Two hours of watching some guy tend to his potatoes, then in the last 5 minutes, he rips out a CGI leopard’s tongue. In the closing scene, after the cat bleeds to death, the man uses the cat’s own severed tongue to wipe and clean its fur, making peace with the cat in some sort of disgusting twist of fate.
Yahoo Shuts Down Child-Sex Chat Rooms After Exposé
No longer available on the interweb behemoth will be:
9-17-Year-Olds Wantin’ Sex
Younger Girls 4 Older Guys
Girls 13 And Under For Older Guys
Girls 13 And Up For Much Older Man
Girls 8 to 13 Watch Boys (In A Particular Sex Act)
Dad gum, there goes my weekend. Who’s up for a monster truck rally?
