“Official site of Rip Hamilton’s nose”

Pistons slap Spurs to force Game 7 on Thursday

Hey, check out that Spurs fan, he’s like Nikki Sixx but not on drugs. Anyway, the Spurs looked like crap and Detroit hit just about every shot down the stretch. I call Detroit by 5.

Also, I’m getting sick and tired of Al Michaels calling all the refs’ majorly-botched calls “marginal”. Hubie’s with me on this.

Shavlik Randolph stays in draft, ends Duke career, Duke sucks

What a loser. Not only did he supremely suck at Suckass University, he would tremendously suck harder in the NBA, assuming he even got drafted. I predict a long, treacherous winter ahead of him in the Siberian Basketball League, where most Duke players go to die.

Korean Pitcher Banned From Wearing Iced Cabbage

He froze a piece of lettuce and stuck it under his hat (there’s a pic if you don’t believe me) to keep cool in those steamy Korean summers. Unfortunately, his hat flew off during a pitch and revealed his cheating ways. As punishment, he will be forced to wear the piece of lettuce on his head 24/7 for the next 3 months, then eat it.

D-Rays blow 11-2 lead to Yanks, lose 20-11

Travis Harper, now officially the world’s worst pitcher, gave up 9 ER in 2 IP, including 4 HRs in the 8th. He’s been demoted to Tampa’s AAA team, the Kansas City Royals.

Re: Danica Patrick, IRL Boss calls women “domestic appliances” twice

Asked about Patrick’s success, Ecclestone acknowledged her strong finish, but then made an assessment about women racing with men that caused a stir, saying, “You know I’ve got one of those wonderful ideas … women should be dressed in white like all the other domestic appliances.”

Uhhhh…. can someone get this man a PR agent?