Follow-up: Charges Against Teen Upgraded After Dog He Allegedly Raped Dies

“She couldn’t even sit down, her bottom was swollen sore.”

Poor, poor Princess.

I wonder what they do to dog rapists in South Carolina prisons. I think an “extreme makeover” is in this guy’s future, but it definitely won’t be fit for television.

Also, the dude is awaiting trial for molesting a 3-year-old and raping a 13-year-old, too.

Glory Hole will no longer serve bear meat

I’m serious.

Junior high school to serve lunch at 9:36 a.m.

That means all those kids will be starving by the time 2:30 rolls around, which should make for a big, deadly, volatile cocktail of hunger pangs, hormones, and guns out in the parking lot every day. I don’t even like eating breakfast that early, let alone lunch. I always knew public school administrators were borderline idiots, but I didn’t think they were that borderline.

Man Wakes Up And Finds Bullet Lodged In Tongue

He says a lady friend (lie) stuck a gun in his mouth and fired it (lie), and he walked home and fell asleep (lie).

He’s trying to cover up what really happened, which is that he was fixing himself a big bowl of potato salad in preparation for the Arena Bowl, and after he stirred the mix with his pistol, he licked it off his gun, which fired into his tongue. It’s not even the first time he’s done that.