“Official site of Wily Mo Pena”
June 14, 2005
Tuesday 
Follow up: Victim Of Chimp Mauling Out Of Coma
After spending nearly three months in a chimp-induced coma, Saint James Davis woke up, only to realize the monkeys destroyed his face, ripped his foot off, and mauled his genitals. “Put me back to sleep,” the victim quickly told his doctors.
“While I was in my coma, I had a recurring nightmare about being ravaged by vicious monkeys, but never was the outcome as bad as it was in real life,” he added.
Child Dies After Riding Epcot’s Mission: Space
While reaching a top speed of 830 mph in the simulated rocket chamber, the boy’s neck was elongated nine inches by centrifugal forces. His head hung limp in front of his stomach as he was dragged off the ride. It was the first death at the park since a man was catapulted from the Tea Cups over 15 years ago.
Tampa hospital will webcast surgeries
High-risk and popular surgeries will be shown during primetime hours, while minor procedures will be broadcast during the day. During its first primetime webcast, the hospital plans to show a groin reconstruction, arm amputation, and a full frontal lobotomy. Hospital administrators hope the advertising revenue that the webcasts generate will help pay for a new tennis court on the roof and hire three new nurses.

