New York’s Olympic Bid Fails, Jets To Stay In Jersey
Nice try, New Jersey. Yo ass is keepin’ them Jets. How could you even consider breaking up such a wonderful relationship between America’s two greatest unlovable losers: the Jets & New Jersey?
Besides, that whole stadium-in-Manhattan thing was idiotic from the start. The Jets are definitely not worth that real estate. Plus, most Jets fans don’t even know where Manhattan is.
Los Alamos Whistleblower Viciously Beaten
That was pretty stupid. Now his story has gone public, and every man, woman, and child in America now knows about the massive alien orgy in the caverns below Albuquerque.
The alien leaders have said that as long as we sacrifice Bono to them, they won’t attack us, and they even left the method of sacrifice up to us. I vote for death by fireworks.
5 teams quit youth football league, stir racial tensions
The ordeal involves an 11-year-old getting shot in the chest, “Let’s go get some white [expletive]!”, a Haitian “traitor”, Disney World, and intimidating rap music. Pop Warner would be highly amused.
I’ll say.
“The incident is believed to revolve around a prisoner who was coerced into internally concealing a sausage to smuggle it out of the prison on a day leave trip, before being strip searched by guards allegedly in on the joke….The alleged abuse victim is understood to have later learned the event was a joke on him and reported it to authorities.”
Dude, if two guys are shoving a sausage up your ass, unless you are Elton John, the joke is clearly on you.
Comment by SnackMaster 3K — June 7, 2005 @ 12:43 pm
What if it’s more like a bratwurst? I’ve seen things.
Comment by sanchez — June 7, 2005 @ 3:31 pm
A better question is: Who was gonna eat that sausage!?
Comment by The Hamburglar — June 7, 2005 @ 4:34 pm
Butt-smuggled snausages are a delicacy in the Philippines and Canada. They are often dipped in aged mucus or ranch dressing.
Comment by chris — June 7, 2005 @ 4:36 pm
I’ll wager that the Butt-smuggled snausages smell better than JR’s Tuna and Peas. Even without the aged mucus.
Comment by Earl Boykins...he's better than bad, he's good. — June 7, 2005 @ 7:58 pm
Leave Joanne out of this, she’s a nice gal.
Comment by chris — June 8, 2005 @ 12:02 am
…and I hear that she puts out!
Comment by Chicken Of the Sea — June 8, 2005 @ 10:16 am
Tylenol 3….
Tylenol recall….
Trackback by Tylenol maker. — November 4, 2008 @ 5:56 am