German Politician Dumps Champagne On Hobo
Yet another narrowly-avoided GPBD. Apparently it’s not good press for politicians to pour alcohol all over homeless peeps, but I don’t understand why.
The hobo got a shower, a drink, and fame in a matter of minutes. If I was a politician, I’d be running my campaign as “the guy who washes hobos in champagne.” Who wouldn’t vote for that?
They sedated the pooch, then slit him open and yanked out his digestive system. What did they learn? That it’s far messier to disembowel a live dog than a dead one.
Follow-up: Finger in Wendy’s chili traced to relative
She should auction the finger off on eBay. Perhaps even claim that Jesus is visible in the fingerprint. Or that Monica Lewinsky was involved somehow.
Follow-up: On the Beach With Dave Chappelle
Setting the record straight, bitch.
British war hero ‘Donkey Man’ remembered
Donkey Man, a human/donkey hybrid who served in the British army during WWII, was responsible for killing over 5,000 enemy soldiers, and saving the lives of over 2,000 comrades. This weekend, Donkey Man was awarded a Silver Star, knighted, and took home First Prize in the Oxford State Fair Freak Show. Well done, old bean.